Santa Clause

A stalker of small children.
A pervert of the kids.
A slave Driver of the elves.
A thief of the cookies.
A legal immigrant to the world.
A rebel without a cause.
Have you ever wonder what happens to children that wake up to find him?
He rapes them then bashes there heads again the chimney.
He watches you, Everywhere.
Him and God are bother helpless stalkers.
What do we do to this flying, fat, red blob of jolly madness?
I say we touch his jolly ass.
He's obviously a terrorist.
He isolates his workers so no one from our outside world could know,
That Santa has a thing for the butt.
Unscramble Santa.
And you get Satan.
Santa is the Devil.
Santa toke over Jesus Christs Birthday.
It's cause Santa is Satan.
He even wears Satan's theme color.
Red.
Also the color of Blood.
Scared Yet?
You should Be.

Santa Clause:: Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!
Kid:: I want a hot wheels toy set!
Santa:: I want to show you the toys in my master bedroom that has padlocks on the doors
Kid:: Yaaay!

Santa Clause by Hawkington =]] February 2, 2008

The Santa Clauses

The clauses which detail Kris Kringle under the North Pole Act of 1436.
Clause 1, Subsection A states that: Saint Nicholas must manufacture a wide variety of games, tools, and miscellaneous objects for children under the age of 12 in all countries of the world.
Clause 1, Subsection B states that: Saint Nicholas must do so for eternity, without pay, and must aquire the following traits: Obesity, A long white beard, a red suit, a fondness for burnt cookies and warm milk.

Evil Little Boy: "Where are my presents?"
Mom: "You were naughty this year, so Santa didn't bring you any."
Evil Little Boy: "Na-uh! According to Clause 1, Subsection A and B, of the Santa Clauses, Santa is required to bring me my demanded presents!"

The Santa Clauses by Assasinof6 March 11, 2010

santa clause

when you shit in a sock and slap someone in the face with it.

Gent 1:Aye chap, why you always have to wail on me. I'd much rather prefer a santa clause.
Gent 2:Righto

santa clause by shib January 25, 2005

santa clause batteries 

1. Stating something as a fact, when in actuality it is completley false; specifically (but not necessarily) after smoking marijuana.

2. To call "Santa Clause Batteries".

Example 1-

Evan: Michael Ian Black graduated from my highschool.

Gina: That's total Santa Clause Batteries!

Evan: You're right...come to think of it, he never went to my highschool. That was total Santa Clause Batteries.

Example 2-

Gina totally called Santa Clause Batteries on Evan's claim that Michael Ian Black graduated from his highschool.

santa clause batteries by Quinn Marie October 7, 2006

santa clause

used when someone aks you a question but you dont wanna answer and are annoyed in a way.

'who paid for that drink?'
'Santa Clause'

santa clause by JJ June 30, 2004

Santa Clause

A pedophile who visits children on Christmas

Child: Mommy Santa Clause visited me last night. Mom: What did he bring you? Child: He called it a hand job!

Santa Clause by TheKamiSama0 October 13, 2012

Santa Clause

Clones of Saint Nicholas who run the streets of many big citys. Recently found to belong to a secretive cocaine operation gang. It is also possible to find them in department stores. They consist of men who have little or no money.

Dude that santa clause is packin some serious shit

Santa Clause by WIGGITY WACK January 7, 2004