Roto-Router Red-Eye Morning Wakeup Muffin 

A breakfast muffin made with prunes and coffee grounds baked in, for lots and lots of extra fiber and caffeine. Guaranteed to wake you up, give you plenty of extra morning energy - and go through your entire digestive tract like a Vesuvius of wire brushes!

My wife and I had an argument, so she served me a Roto-Router Red-Eye Morning Wakeup Muffin with my breakfast; and, by the time I got to work, I almost had to stick my thumb up in my butthole, to keep from crapping all over myself as I ran to the nearest restroom!

Roto-Router Red-Eye Morning Wakeup Muffin by Kenneth Zevo July 10, 2022

sitting on the router 

When someone else in your family or your dad is using up all of the internet connection bandwith, which usually slows down your internet speed and/or multiplayer games.

My dad was sitting on the router by playing 2142 this morning.

O rly?

Yea.

sitting on the router by Anotymous July 20, 2008

dutch router 

you grasp your penis with your hand whilst letting another man move your arm up and down in a masturbating motion.

while this will increase awkwardness and homosexuality between both men involved, it will decrease soreness in the whole of your right arm and the chances of you ever wanting to do it again

man 1: would you like a dutch router?

man 2: no, that's gay.

man 1: no, i never touch or look at your penis, so no one is gay.

man 2: well if you put it that way, then yes. and my arm won't get tired!

man 1: yay!

man 2: fag...

dutch router by the jamo February 15, 2010

soggy router 

A group of two or more men all put on the same porn (in their respective rooms within one house) and wank off to it into a tissue. You must then run in to the room with the router, and slam down your wanky tissue.

The aim of the game is not to be the last to cum, and if you are, the rules state you must lick the first-to-finish's tissue.

Chad: Hey man, coming Limp Biscuit tournament later?
Brad: Nah bro, we aint tha' hardcore. Just doing Soggy Router down tha frat, dawg.

soggy router by elbastardopilko November 6, 2009

wooden router 

This is what you call the router of someone on an online game who has very slow internet connection and therefore has high latency and lags a lot.

Gamer 1: Omfg I can't play with this delay. There is such much lag
Gamer 2: Nobody else is lagging its just you.
Gamer 3: Yeah you just have a wooden router.

wooden router by YYHeff January 19, 2011

Dusty Router 

When an IT professional has sex with someone more than twice their age while performing their official duties.

"Yeah, Todd helped old lady Thatcher on the seventh floor with her new login and gave her the dusty router right in her office!"

"Door open?"

"You know it."

Dusty Router by Positive Control February 26, 2018

roto router 

having anal sex with a girl you just met at a club in the clubs restroom while giving her a swirly

Yo,bro I just went all roto router on that girl at the club last night

roto router by bustahumphammer November 10, 2009