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a fart's chance in a windtunnel 

(n.) A situation where an idea or thing has very little probability of existing or continuing to exist. In the same vein as "a snowball's chance in Hell," except less dependent on Christian ideologies.

Based on the idea that a mass of flatus has very little chance of being smelt if it is whisked away by the high-velocity air currents native to the windtunnels used in aeronautics testing.
Your new newsblog doesn't have a fart's chance in a windtunnel unless you plagiarize the shit out of other more prominent newsblogs.
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A snowman's chance in hell 

The chance a snowman has before it is obliterated by the fire and brimstone of hell.
An issue or person doesn't have a snowman's chance in hell of being accepted by a certain process, as consistently proven by past experience; there's no need to run that snowman through the entire process...again.

frozen dick's chance in hell 

There is no frozen dick's chance in hell that those two are getting married.

Chinaman's Chance 

It is where you take a chance going across the street in China because people drive on the sidewalks and stop in the middle of the highways.
You are taking a Chinaman's Chance by crossing that busy highway.

Snowball's Chance In Hell

Where a guy tells his woman that she can give him a snowball kiss after he cums in her mouth, but instead he covers her mouth and punches her in the stomach to make her swallow, and then runs away.
Jenny is so mad, she wanted to snowball me, but I gave her a snowball's chance in hell instead.

Buckley's chance 

"Between no chance and Buckley's chance, the latter is worse..."
Buckley's chance by Zed Numar July 20, 2021

Snowball's chance in hell

Something extremely unlikely to occur, and if it does it will only be transcient.
"That's a great idea to solve the political crisis in Mali. It seems adapted to the context, and is based on discussions with people. But, we are the United Nations, so good ideas have a snowball's chance in hell of surviving."