I Don't Give Two Shits 

An expression, when said, means you really do not care about what someone is saying, or what's going on around you. Recommended to be said sarcastically.

Shithead Neighbor: Hey Tim!
You: Yeah, hi.
Shithead Neighbor: I won the lottery jackpot yesterday! 40 million dollars for me!
You: Well guess what? I don't give two shits if you win 40 million, or 40 cents. Get the fuck out of my face please.

I Don't Give Two Shits by ChronicClub August 18, 2016

don't give two shits 

you don't care what the person is saying, at all

As my friend told me about his coin collection I said, "Guess what, I don't give two shits!!".

don't give two shits by yaIcussgotaproblem December 15, 2011

I don't give two shits 

Way of saying, I really could care less for this shit, and shut the fuck up. Wrapped up in one little phrase.

Dude #1: Hey, can you go water my plants while I'm gone?

Dude #2: I don't give two shits about your damn plants!

I don't give two shits by Waffleboy2c7 March 27, 2010

billy two-shits 

Someone who constantly practices one-upmanship; if you've had one shit, he's had two.

Sam: "I'm fed up with him telling me how everything he has is bigger, better and faster than what everyone else has!"

Gene: "Yes, he's a real Billy two-shits."

billy two-shits by Fergus Mason April 2, 2008

Tommy Two Shits 

If you've had one shit, they've had two.

yeah you know "so'n'so" from down the road, they're a right tommy two shits

Tommy Two Shits by MrSnufflesTB November 29, 2021

Mass of two shits 

Another word for the terrible state of Massachusetts

Where is the city of Boston located? In Mass of two shits

Mass of two shits by Dshostoppa December 23, 2021

I could give two shits 

A gramatically INCORRECT phrase that lamen (i.e. retards) use when they really mean to say "I couldn't give two shits". See could care less and couldn't care less for more of this fuckwittery.

Jerome: I could give two shits.
Lewis: You're a fucking idiot. Die.
Jerome: What?

I could give two shits by Titmaster1233 April 1, 2009