tending to the slow cooker 

to engage in masturbation

Person 1: "Stop messaging me, im tending to the slow cooker."
Person 2: "What?"
Person 1: "Jacking off"

tending to the slow cooker by gazza222 November 7, 2020

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When you are so goddamn bored that you just type the cookies policy of Urban Dictionary into the search bar.

Mark: Wow Marcus, how was your day?
Marcus: This website uses cookies to enhance user experience and to analyze performance and traffic on our website. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. Use of this site is subject to our terms of service.

This website uses cookies to enhance user experience and to analyze performance and traffic on our website. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. by AlownAgainstTheWorld May 25, 2023

cooking to bang 

cooking food for a member of the opposite sex, with the sole purpose of hoping they'll sleep with you afterwards

ah, laura's coming round, he's cooking to bang

cooking to bang by the eyes tornado March 4, 2011

Cooks to 99 

Infamous saying a sports card scammer repeated over and over again while trying to slight of a hand a high dollar card hidden behind a Brandin Cooks Card numbered to 99.

“First Card of the Box, Cooks to 99.”

Person: Sees valuable card behind, starts shuffling cards to hide valuable card, but all his brain could spit out while scamming was “cooks to 99, cooks to 99” (Deep breath, sigh) “cooks to 99”

Cooks to 99 by Sick Sports Cards August 29, 2020

i don't want to go to school today i want to stay home and bake cookies with you 

from the movie Space Jam. Often used by men who are dating women that are no good for them, in circumstances such as Facebook. usually found by the next girlfriend many years later.

(On a guy's facebook page) "I don't want to go to school today I want to stay home and bake cookies with you...(insert skank's name here)".

i don't want to go to school today i want to stay home and bake cookies with you by nonymoose999 May 20, 2011

cooked to British perfection 

Overcooking food to the point where it loses its tastes. Used as an excuse to joke around about being a terrible cook rather than improving or giving up.

"Cooked to British perfection!" my mom would cackle as she served us yet another bland meal.

cooked to British perfection by Downvoting Victim June 28, 2011

The cookie to my cupcake 

The cookie to my cupcake means someone is worth everything to u and u would do anything to them.

Ur the cookie to my cupcake💘

The cookie to my cupcake by Jani123456 January 13, 2021