John Fitzgerald Page 

The man made internet infamous for the 2007 rant, published on Gawker.com as "The Worst Person in the World", after being told "thanks, but no thanks" on Match.com and sending a scathing email. The email reads as follows:

"I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!

So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren't any more of those!

Regards,

John"

On Fark.com, he is known as JFP and is the source of the "26 minutes" meme.

douche douchbag douchebag douchbaggery douchebaggery John Fitzgerald Page JFP

John Fitzgerald Page by CopperheadTX July 8, 2010

John Fitzgerald Page 

voted worst person ever, a middle aged man with narcissistic personality disorder NPD. Commonly known for his dickish online dating habits, extorting young models/actresses, and his terrible website www.johnfitzgeraldpage.com.

I just met a John Fitzgerald Page, he was bragging about auditioning for roles with Domino's, but not actually getting any roles.

John Fitzgerald Page by atlanta scout July 7, 2010

Ella Fitzgerald 

Ella Jane Fitzgerald (April 25, 1917 – June 15, 1996), aka Lady Ella (The First Lady of Song) is probably one of the most influential female jazz vocalists of the 20th century, along with Sarah Vaughan and Billie Holiday.

Well known for her pure tone, 3-octave vocal range, intonation, and lyrical phrasing, Ella Fitzgerald proved to be a very gifted vocalist.

Her improvised 'scat' singing, was almost horn-like, and is revered by many of today's jazz vocalists as pure genius.

Lady Ella led a troublesome life after her mother died in 1932. Having lost both her parents (her father left shortly after she was born), Ella's schoolwork lagged and she began to skip class.

After being caught by th police, young Ella was sent to a reform school, but soon escaped and became homeless.

Ella Fitzgerald was discovered at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, New York when she was 16 years old. After winning a draw to compete in one of the famous Apollo Amateur Nights, she opted to sing a Hoagy Carmichael tune in stead of her original act of dancing (she was intimidated by a well-known, local dance act) The crowd loved her performance and she won first prize.

She was hired by Chick Webb (jazz drummer) and the rest is history.

Some of her best work includes her recording of 'How High the Moon', her series of standards from the Great American Songbook, and her duet recordings with Louis Armstrong.

Ella Fitzgerald died in 1996 of complications from her diabetes.

Somewhere there's music, how faint the tune?
Somewhere there's heaven, how high the moon?

Ella Fitzgerald is a vocal virtuoso.

Ella Fitzgerald by au-town July 31, 2006

Harriett Fitzgerald 

Harriett is thickkkk, she is the best person you will come across, she loves to have fun, she's also a crackhead when she wants to be.
If anyone is picking on you you can depend on this girl for having your back. If you mess with her, be prepared to get tackled to the ground cuz this girl doesn't tolerate bitches (like girls named Ella if ykyk)
If you come across a Harriett KEEP HER! or you will regret it

She's an amazing person, beautiful, talented, amazing friend, good at all sports and just an all-around great girl.
KEEP HER !!!!!!!

BOY: Omg did you see Harriett Fitzgerald at that party
BOY 2: Yesss bruh she's thick ass

Harriett Fitzgerald by noonammmeee May 18, 2020

Old Fitzgerald 

When you give a girl a mouth full of bourbon in the back of a van, after she's sat in a barrel, while watching two donkeys have sex.

I gave Rita the "Old Fitzgerald" in the back of a van in Kentucky.

Old Fitzgerald by Megopado April 12, 2010

larry fitzgerald 

One of the greatest wide receivers of all time. He is 2nd all time in receiving yards and 3rd all time in receptions. In 2009, he single handedly carried the Arizona Cardinals to Super Bowl 43.

Larry Fitzgerald needs a ring!

larry fitzgerald by Some dude online April 29, 2019

John Fitzgerald Kennedy 

35th President of the United States. Kennedy served honorably in the Navy during World War 2 and later became a US Senator. He ran for President in 1960, narrowly defeating Vice President Richard Nixon. Kennedy was the first Roman Catholic President, and he was also the youngest man elected president. His presidency was marked by the Cuban Missile Crisis and by strong support for space exploration. Although Kennedy had run on a platform that included racial integration, he was criticized for not pushing the issue strongly enough while President. Kennedy was assassinated on January 22, 1963 in Dallas, Texas. The identity of Kennedy's assassin or assassins has been the source of much speculation. One government investigation found that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone killer, while another investigation found that Oswald and others had conspired to kill the President. Kennedy's assassination was one of our nation's greatest tragedies. Many remember Jack Kennedy for his inspiring words and for the youthful and exciting atmosphere he brought to the White House.

"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
-Jack Kennedy

John Fitzgerald Kennedy by Bleurgh Resurgent January 30, 2005