Mugging an old lady 

Something I do

You are mugging an old lady

Mugging an old lady by Master oogway is daddy May 16, 2022

there was an old lady who swallowed a fly

one of the darkest children's stories ever that ends every verse with the words "Perhaps She'll Die", with the exception of the very end where the old lady is finally dead

Guy 1: Did you hear how there was an old lady who swallowed a fly?
Guy 2: No what happened to her?
Guy 1: She died
Guy 2: Why did nobody help her?
Guy 1: She died after she ate the horse.
Guy 2: Wtf!

there was an old lady who swallowed a fly by hitman_penguin May 7, 2013

Give an Old Man a Lap Dance 

To show kindness to another. To preform an act of charity unexpectedly. Made popular by the Todd N Tyler Radio Empire.

Jim: I was at the supermarket and this midget couldn't get to the Doritos on the top shelf. So got them down for her.

Bob: It always feels good to give an old man a lap dance.

Give an Old Man a Lap Dance by Reverend Jim Jr April 18, 2008

you can't teach an old dog new tricks 

It means that it is very hard to change someones habits

You can't teach an old dog new tricks when they have been used to using a cell phone instead of a smart phone.

you can't teach an old dog new tricks by Zahraa June 13, 2017

Fuck an old fucker but you cant shit an old shitter 

You can have sex with an old sex partner but you cant bull shit an old bull shitter.

Grandpa looks down at his grandson after he tells a hella of a lie and tells him grandson you can "Fuck an old fucker but you cant shit an old shitter", go tell that bull shit story to some younger generation because I'm not buying it.

Fuck an old fucker but you cant shit an old shitter by L3ft b3hind April 15, 2010

as stiff as an old man on a cold winter's night

a common phrase used when describing an extremely rigid erection.

"wow, my girlfriend gave me a joyner last night and i was as stiff as an old man on a cold winter's night"

as stiff as an old man on a cold winter's night by Nick Meyer. April 1, 2008

Shake Hands with an Old Friend 

Urinate, male version.

Excuse me for a few minutes, I have to go shake hands with an old friend.

Shake Hands with an Old Friend by JoshinLVNY May 14, 2021