When you're stuck at dive on a bad date or in an awkward conversation you can't escape...a bar buffer is an acquaintance of yours that is a religious staple at any watering hole who is always happy to see you and loves keeping up conversation. Thank God for their early onset alcoholism because in sticky situations like this, they will be your right hand man until bar close.
I cant believe I caved to go out with this guy, he's more annoying than his texts and this beer won't make the night any better...Holly thought to herself .
Oh thank God there's Gabby! It's happy hourof course she's here, bar buffer to the rescue!
Refers to the distance between Uranus and the outer perimeter of your butt-cheeks, in terms of how far an accidentally-released blob of poop has to "travel" before it reaches --- and subsequently soils --- your clothing and/or whatever surface that you happen to be presently sitting/lying upon.
Many people think that having a huge flabby behind in undesirable, but it can actually be an advantage if you occasionally suffer from liquid farts, since it provides you with a greater butt buffer-zone; this is especially fortuitous if you happen to be sitting or reclining at the time of said unexpected discharge, since it is exhaustingly more laborious to properly sanitize a seat-cushion or mattress, whereas soiled clothing can usually just be soaked in detergent-solution and then tossed in the washer.