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Have an issue, here's a tissue. 

When you're crying, someone will kindly offer a tissue to wipe your tears on.
Tiffany: (lisping) ARRGH!! This Snapchat update SUCKS!! (cries)
Teacher: (gives Tiffany a tissue) You have an issue, here's a tissue.

Tiffany: *blushes*

Tiffany: (takes off her glasses, wipes her tears with the tissue, cleans her glasses with that tissue and then puts her glasses back on.)
Tiffany: (sniffles, blows nose on that same tissue)
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tissue issues 

The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.
Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
tissue issues by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

Tissue Issues 

When You Finger/Jerk Yourself Of To Much And Tou Use To Much Tissue To Clean It Up But Later On You Do It Again But Run Out Of Tissues
James:I Wanked Off So Hard Last Night And Ran Out Of Tissue
Rebecca:You Have Some “Tissue Issues
Tissue Issues by LegendaryUrban October 10, 2018

tissues for issues 

Remedial measures for common problems
Tissues for issues are used to cure heartbreak break - in secret measure.

tissues: four issues 

Tissues and Issues is the platinum selling fifth studio album by the Welsh singer Charlotte, however the catch phrase denotes consolation for trying issues
Don't accept blow by blow, cheer up and blow up yer nose with tissues: four issues.

more issues than tissues 

People who love telling you all thier problems. Drama queens and kings. People to avoid. Energy suckers.
Nigel has more issues than tissues

more issues than tissues 

People who love telling you all thier problems. Drama queens and kings. People to avoid. Energy drainers. P
"X" argh they have more issues than tissues