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consent accident 

The act of forcing oneself onto a non-consenting party for the purposes of sexual gratification under the pretext that they did not understand that the non-consenting party's objections to said sexual contact.
HR: "Elliot, one of your colleagues claimed that you sexually assaulted them at the office Christmas party"
Elliot: "No Ma'am, it was a consent accident."

Boating accident 

If you're out on a hunting trip and flip your boat and accidently loose all your registered weapons.
i lost all my guns in an boating accident.

The best shooters are the worst skippers.
Boating accident by Ave End May 28, 2018

maskcident 

maskcident mask-suh-dent

When someone's Covid-19 mask cuts off their field of vision, causing them to trip and fall.
"In today's news, several hundred new maskcidents have been reported. Injuries range from broken legs to biffed tailbones."
maskcident by The Wendolyne August 15, 2020

Accidental Adult 

An individual whose age indicates maturity but whose approach to life suggests otherwise.
Whenever my neighbor waters his shrubs, he wags the garden hose between his legs and waves to traffic. Total accidental adult.

I try not to laugh when children call me “Mr.” They have no idea I’m an accidental adult.

Quiet accident 

An espionage term for a murder made to resemble an ordinary accident.
Harry Palmer witnessed a death by car, with all the marks of a KGB quiet accident.
Quiet accident by I, Wreckerrr October 24, 2016

Accidental Text on Purpose 

When you send someone a text, but you accidentally send it to someone other than the intended receiver. On purpose. Coined by Larry David.
In the accidental text on purpose, you say something like "Hey Larry, you were an asshole the other night. There's nothing wrong with her water, it's perfectly okay."