The Beard Theory

If one's beard extends past certain parameters of length and neatness, it's length can represent the magnitude of their emotional barriers.

The Beard Theory was initially rejected by Urban Dictionary editors because they had beards that exceeded the acceptable length. The Beard Theory states that their beards created an emotional barrier between them and the previous submission, therefore allowing them to reject it so willingly.

The Beard Theory by By and Large March 19, 2015

The Beard Rule 

The Beard Rule states simply that the ends of a man's hair shall not reach past the tip of his beard -- or his chin if he has no beard -- or he loses his right to the title "man", and instead must be referred to only as "boy".

"Hey, man, you're violating the Beard Rule. Get a hair cut."

The Beard Rule by Olaf Gjertsen May 13, 2009

The Beard is a Lie 

Used to show that a supposed method of beard growth is a scam and actually won't help you grow a beard at all. The phrase is parodied off the "the cake is a lie" meme.

Salesman: Excuse me, but I couldn't help notice that pitiful excuse for facial hair that's attached itself to your jaw. Might I interest you in trying some Miracle Beard Grow? It's only $29.99 a jar.

Guy: *rubs face insecurely* Uh...well...

Good Samaritan passing by: The beard is a lie.

Guy: No thanks. *walks away*

The Beard is a Lie by Rodman Edward Serling August 17, 2011

The Beard Principle 

If you kissed, your facial hair will start growing faster and stronger.

Man 1: wow! Since when u gout this beard?
Man 2: oh I've kissed last week
Man 1: oh, so it gotta be The Beard Principle!

The Beard Principle by Thenutmaker June 18, 2021

the beard of the ancient Chinese sage

When someone is giving you head, and just before ejaculating you push it all the way down their throat causing a cough at the moment of ejaculation that makes the semen fly from their mouth to their chin like the beard of an ancient Chinese sage.

The other day I ejaculated down my girlfriend's throat and the result was that she looked like she had the beard of the ancient Chinese sage

Lately I've been feeling more sexually active and have a more open mind; I think I want to try a Ancient chinese sage's beard.

the beard of the ancient Chinese sage by Cambumbo March 24, 2026

Glazing the beard

This is when a woman lets a man go down on her while having a beard. This is what happens when moisture is left on his furry face.

I met a woman who loves glazing the beard said the woodsman.

Glazing the beard by Beard dreamer May 13, 2016

grow the beard

"Grow the beard" is an antonym of "jump the shark." In other words, it's when a show that starts off in Suck Town hits its stride. The term comes from Star Trek: The Next Generation, which started off terrible but began to get better when Commander Riker grew a beard at the beginning of season two.

"Man, the first season or two of The Simpsons blew, but after that the show started to grow the beard."

grow the beard by Walter Wiese April 28, 2006