shovelware

an array of haphazard software emphasizing quantity rather than quality

This shit is totally half-assed. Who assembled this shovelware?

shovelware by The Return of Light Joker August 5, 2011

judgemental shoelace 

smol snek that looks like a shoelace

he silently judges u

beware of the judgemental shoelace chirren

if you see a smol judgemental shoelace, give him a smol boop, (DONT KEL HIM) and run

' oh look its a judgemental shoelace'

judgemental shoelace by judgemental shoelace November 18, 2018

The Shoelace Effect 

When things go wrong, they will be right again - all loose ends will be tied up.

"Hey, yesterday everything seemed to go wrong but today, everything that went to shit is good again! Weird."
"Yeah, that's the shoelace effect."

The Shoelace Effect by Phorx May 31, 2015

shoelace express 

The means of transportation you employ when walking somewhere.

"I've been taking the shoelace express to work ever since that bitch wrecked my car."

shoelace express by Sean February 16, 2005

shovelface

when someone has the facial appearance of having been hit, full-force in the face by a shovel, therby making them a "shovelface" the person then has a very flat face, normally they are hideously ugly.

"ugh! she has a bitch of a shovelface!"

shovelface by jonobello February 7, 2006

German Shoelaces 

The act of backing up into someone's face while they're bending over to tie their shoes, for the sole purpose of farting directly into their face. This act can be performed without removing your pants, but it is hilarious to do it with your pants down. For optimal performance, consider eating Ex-Lax before performing this act to brown-wash your victim.

They say the German Shoelaces will grow hair on your chest -- if it doesn't burn the hair out of your nose, first. Hope you don't get a turd to the eyeball, man!
Whoa! That German Shoelaces gave him a turdy Hitler moustache! Sick, man!

German Shoelaces by Donkey Punching Queen July 14, 2011

shoelace 

To emotionally tie your partner down in a relationship.

(Not to be confused with any sexual act).

Ted: Sorry, Mike. My girlfriend made plans for next weekend, too.

Mike: Man, we never hang out anymore. She has shoelaced you, and you don't even realize it.

shoelace by Bryce King January 23, 2011