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shitistics 

The mathematical process by which one or a group measures the quality and size of their shits. A way to compare shits between competing friends/enemies. There is an average shit for humanity, as taken by Jesus Christ unto St. Peter's face (the Holy Shit), and shits greater than or less than the Holy Shit is measured by standard deviation in terms of chippermonkeys. Shitistics apply to size, girth, smell, denisty, color, and toilet clogging ability. Shitistics are measured by a neutral arbiter in a "who took the biggest shit" dispute.
Jason: Shit dude, I took a huge shit this morning.

Matt: What are the shitistics you shithead?

Jason: Size: 1.2 chippermonkeys, Girth: 3.8 chippermonkeys, Smell: 2.8 chippermonkeys, Density: -1.9 chippermonkeys, Color: 0.2 chippermonkeys, Toilet Clogging: 10.0 chippermonkeys.

Matt: I guess thats a decent shit.

Jason: Shit, I had to buy new socks.

Matt: Tell Craig to come measure the shitistics on the deuce I just dropped.
shitistics by Cream Puff69 October 13, 2012
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statastics

Joe is busy doing statastics
statastics by Junior Scientist April 30, 2010

stastistisize 

a term used to describe an intent to measure something by way of statistics
Kevin said, "baseballreference.com can stastistisize anything about baseball."
stastistisize by AlexFlores July 10, 2006

statistrick 

A statistic used mainly by politicians to manipulate the facts to gain favor.
6 out of 10 Adams county students AREN'T drinking! (this statistrick used in an actual advertisement in Adams County, Illinois)

"I think Iraq is stable. New polls show that 95 percent of the country wants to see a democratic government." (The problem with this is that the other 5 percent have all of the weapons.)
statistrick by Jake Seifert March 27, 2006

Statistisize 

stuh-tis-ti-sahyz
verb

1. The process of making something a stat.

(see. Stat)
1. I found 7 white deer in a 3 mile radius. I might statistisize that, so the public knows!
Statistisize by Ryan Bizzzle April 18, 2011

Statistical Inception 

A formula inside of a formula inside of a formula inside of another formula
Bob: Wow I have to use a stupid formula to find the test statistic for a sample size of n, but in order to do that I have to find SE(y) which is s divided by the square root n and in order to find that I have to find s. But, in order to find s i have to calculate the sample mean...

Jim: Damn that sounds like Statistical Inception!

Statisticise 

to turn into a statistic, often untrue.
That is not a fact it was statisticised by the liberal media.
Statisticise by kdcarr November 29, 2013