Randy's Furniture

To insert wood into a female's "furniture."

Guy 1: Haha, you work at Randy's Furniture?
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: You don't get the joke?
Guy 2: Oh I do now, leldankmeme.

Randy's Furniture by lengthiestwarfare April 3, 2015

Furniture shopping 

Inappropriate or predatory sexual advances (usually initiated by orange men with small penises and low IQs)
See: Donald Trump

"I did try and f--- her. She was married... And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, 'I'll show you where they have some nice furniture.'" - Donald Trump

Furniture shopping by Princeofpalmbeach October 9, 2016

furniture socialism 

When you buy a chair you move it in the house. However if you want it as your private property you have to move it in your room. If you want it in the living room you have to let everybody sit in it and you have no say.

Screw furniture socialism I paid for my damn chair and no one is going to sit in it!

furniture socialism by Critikale May 18, 2018

Furniture store 

The only retail establishment that starts out in bankruptcy. Within 30 days of opening, there will be a teenager standing roadside in front of the furniture store holding a sign that states they are having a “going out of business sale” and all furniture must go, prices up to 70% off.

Hey Jim, I’m heading out to look at leather couches at that new furniture store on Route 1. Is that kid out front yet holding the going out of business sale, or has it not been 30 days yet?

Furniture store by Grant Rampus November 11, 2019

furniture salesperson 

A poor bastard who sales furniture, lamps, recliners and bedding. One who lies to people about their taste in home furnishings. A person who listens to constant whinning about prices, listens to rambling about a house decore they don't give a shit about. When this simpleton finally closes the sale the buyer immediately begins to complain about the product.
A furniture salesperson might have to view buggars on the bottom of a recliner brought in for repair, might be exposed to the piss on mattress sent back to the store.
The furniture salesperson is always nice at work and a real ass hole at home. They have held as long as they can!

customer= JUST LOOKING!
furniture Salesperson- can I help you find something
customer- do you have a floral camel back sofa up on legs, maybe one you repoed. My credit ain't so good. Do you guys have 12 month same as cash?
furniture Salesperson- No we only sale new furniture, have you tried the flea market or a yard sale?

furniture salesperson by mannman November 10, 2009

Move Some Furniture Around 

An innuendo for suggesting sex.

Meg: I'm gonna order some pizza and then we're gonna move some furniture around. You understand?
Castiel: N-no, I don't unders--
Meg: 😈
Castiel: I uNdErStAnD

Move Some Furniture Around by mynoduesP sI mynoduesP yM July 24, 2020

You have more loose screws than ikea furniture

A person that acts like they are crazy or disturbed

You know Eddie you have more loose screws than ikea furniture.

You have more loose screws than ikea furniture by Cloyde December 8, 2017