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beat meat 

"Give me some lotion, I need to beat my meat."

"Hand me that gatorade, I need to beat my meat."
beat meat by Lang20 February 16, 2006

beat meat 

An act when a guy touches his penis to get sexual satisfaction
His mutha caught him beatin tha meat in da bathroom, i.e beat meat
beat meat by LG-MAT July 28, 2008

beat meat 

to repeatedly smack a segment of meat, (particularly cow fat), with a specialised tool known as a willy wacker
OMG!, my bf Jonathan let me beat his meat at dinner last night, it was incredible! (beat meat)
beat meat by lucasant November 13, 2023

Beat meat repeat paradox

When you're bored you beat your meat. This feels really good, but the more often you do it, the less satisfaction you get from it.
Dude I'm stuck in the coomer beat meat repeat paradox because of quarantine and my lack of skills with women.

Beat Meat o'clock 

When your internal alarm tells you to, "BEAT YO FUCKIN MEAT" quickly before you splooge in your pants with no interaction with yourself.
"Man it's just about beat meat o'clock".
"I cant wait for beat meat o'clock in the gal's locker room".

beat meat to it 

A bastardization of "beat me to it" from r/beatmetoit. The subreddit r/beatmeattoit is mostly comprised of shitposting and constant reposts.

In literal terms, "beat meat to it" means to beat your meat aka masturbate to something.
You know the 76th repost of "The spinning chicken nugget? Repost in 24 hours or you are dead"? I definitely beat meat to it.
beat meat to it by 2Fax5U October 25, 2023