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Spleens are your real ones usually consisting of 3+ males of balkan descent with all different personality types with one being the father figure and the only one that can drive then the next one being the middle child aka the good kid but everyone loves him and lastly the youngest who manages to do the dumbest shit every time making the oldest mad
wow there goes the spleens so gay
spleens by retrotrik January 11, 2020
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Danny: Hey Carl! Who's the cat?
Carl: What cat?
Danny: That one!
Carl: This cat? I don't know! Hey kitty, you all alone?
Cat: SPLEENS
Carl: OH NO! IT'S GONNA ANNOY US! RUN!
Cat: S P L E E N S
(Endless screams of annoyance and fear)
SPLEENS by SPLEENBEES March 4, 2021

spleens the cat 

Florida man's pet cat, also featured on Gray Still Plays in his sims videos, along with her good friend Tonsils.
spleens the cat by Ana.Love-Cathrine November 18, 2019

Spleens Flower 

Jeff: Hey, Jay, wanna go to Fred's party? I hear he has loads of Spleens Flower.
Jay: Spleens Flower?
Jeff: Coke. he has a huge coke stash, Jay.
Jay: oh, I'm not into drugs.
Spleens Flower by Poyomaster696969 September 8, 2020

HOPPY HOLLOW SPLEEN

WHEN YOU HOP AROUND LIKE A JUNGLE BUNNY ON HOLLOWS EVE BEKUZ YOU TRIK OR TREATED IN THE GHETTO AND YOU GOT A NEEDLE STUCK IN YOUR SPLEEN KUZ SOME FOOL PUT IT IN YOUR BIT O HUNNY THATS WHAT HAPPENS ON HOPPY HOLLOW SPLEEN
OWW MY GUT HURTS IT MUST BE HOPPY HOLLOW SPLEEN AGAIN DAM CRACK HEADS POISOND MY TREATS AGAIN CRAZY SPOOKS

Cooked your own spleen 

"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot
Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"