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Touch Yourself 

1.) The act of pleasuring oneself, aka solo masturbation; can be performed by either male or female.

2.) A growingly popular phrase used as an insult/comeback
Alex: Yeah well you're just big fat ho anyway!

Ben: Listen Alex go touch yourself & then take a long walk off a short pier!

John: ooooh ben hit him with the TYS... no comin back from that
Touch Yourself by la luchadore October 30, 2010

touch yourself 

I wonder how you touch yourself, curse myself for being across the sea
touch yourself by Sho0ting$tar December 21, 2023

Cause you touch yourself at night... 

Phrase used to answer a question involving 'why' or 'how'. Usually sounds perverted, such as the phrase 'Thats what she said'
"Daddy. Why are there no dinosaurs?"
"Cause you touch yourself at night..."

"How is this possible?!"
"Cause you touch yourself at night..."

because you touch yourself at night 

The response to any "why" question that anyone asks you.
Young Peter: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Tour Guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Because you touch yourself at night! 

One of the most popular theories as to how the dinosaurs become extinct.
Why did the dinosaurs die out?

Because you touch youself at night!

Because you touch yourself at night 

The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also: because you're gay.
Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!

Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!