digital beanie babies

John: Did you hear about how the CryptBS coin just plummeted in value? I'm down like $5000! Fuck!
Rick: Man, I told you not to be buying no digital beanie babies, didn't I?
John: ARRRRGGGGGHHHH!
by weyus November 10, 2022
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spam reunion

The reunion of two people that occurs because one of their online accounts has been compromised and sends spam to the other, resulting in the other to reply and reconnect to the first person.
Joe receives email advertising "Make your penis 20X larger with just one pill!" from an old acquaintance, Bob.
Joe replies to Bob: "Hey Bob - looks like your email got hacked. How have you been, man? The family is well, I hope? I just started a new job down in the valley - it's going pretty well. We should catch up over drinks sometime."
Bob replies: "Thanks for the heads up, Joe. I changed my email password. I'm excited to see you for a spam reunion."
by weyus September 25, 2013
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gaypiphany

The sudden realization that oneself is a homosexual.
After a failed marriage, and a frustrating dating life with several women, Bob had a gaypiphany.
by weyus November 08, 2009
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textegesis

1) Critical explanation or interpretation of a series of text messages in the hopes of constructing a coherent narrative from them.

2) The exegesis of text messages.
After Joe broke up with his girlfriend, he got hammered and texted her 25 times in 3 hours. The next morning, he had a significant bit of textegesis to do.
by weyus December 09, 2009
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asshole asymptote

The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.
With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.
by weyus November 09, 2022
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toxic waste dump

A bowel movement that stinks to high heaven, leaves streaks on the toilet porcelain, and in many cases, induces tears in anyone who comes near it. Anyone who comes in contact with it feels like it's an environmental disaster. Often the consistency of a chocolate soft serve ice cream.
Dan: What the fuck just happened in the shitter - it stinks like Love Canal?!? Wes - what did you do?
Wes: (sheeplishly grinning) I just took a toxic waste dump. Soary.
by weyus July 26, 2018
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rational blue balls

The extreme mental and sometimes emotional frustration that comes from trying to reason with someone who is not using rationality to drive their decisions (e.g. religious fanatics, conspiracy theorists, etc.)
John: Hey have you heard about this documentary called "Plandemic" - it's about how THEY created the coronavirus in order to enslave us with a vaccine that everyone "has to take".

Peter: What the fuck are you talking about John? I watched it and it's clearly horseshit. No one in that video is credible and almost all of them have been debunked as crackpots elsewhere...why are you telling me about this shit?

John: Dude, you don't understand, THEY have a plan and we are going to lose our freedom, bro. Why can't you see? Don't be a sheep, man!

Peter: Thanks John, now you've given me rational blue balls. I need to go talk with a reasonable person and maybe I'll feel better.
by weyus May 07, 2020
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