Definitions by von groovy

as welcome as cancer 

The feeling you experience when you enter a room and everyone looks at you with complete disgust and wants nothing to do with you.

Othello: I went to Barry's Art opening last night. I didn't see you there. What's up?
Desdemona: Since Barry and I have been over, every time I go to a party he's at I feel as welcome as cancer.
Othello: It's been three years! Well, he has AIDS now so I think you have won.

as welcome as cancer by von groovy June 18, 2017

a swimming pool band-aid 

Something that is disgusting and should never be touched.

Hans: I was with Anna last night and things were really great and then it was all over! She acted grossed out and left!
Albert: What happened? I thought last night was going to be the night?
Hans: Me too. I took off my pants and she looked at it like it was a swimming pool band-aid.
Albert: Well, you have that artsy circumcision with the side-flaps. You gotta get that fixed. Your parents did you no favors.

a swimming pool band-aid by von groovy June 18, 2017

love gettin's 

Why gettin' some love! The act of making love.

Mark: Me and Margie were gettin' some love gettin's last night and that's why I forgot to get the paper. Sorry, mom.
Mom: That's okay. I still got FOX. We all gotta get our love!

love gettin's by von groovy June 16, 2017

rorschach stains 

the identical-twinlike stains that can remain on bed sheets after a night of love gettins and remaining still afterwards.

Carrie forgot that Greg had pumped her last night until she awoke to the Rorschach stains on her bed sheets from their bodily fluids. She was angry until she thought they were artistic.

rorschach stains by von groovy June 16, 2017

wholezon 

The name given to the (almost) monopoly created by Whole Foods being bought by Amazon.

Rich was pissed and not surprised when a customer told him that his boss was no longer Whole Foods, but up the street at Amazon. He almost spit out his Kombucha as his mind raced with thoughts about what was now Wholezon.

wholezon by von groovy June 16, 2017

front flossing

The act of only flossing the teeth that people will see. People who engage in this behavior are often suspect of not keeping other areas as clean as they should be.

Peter: I just came back from the dentist and she was pissed at me.
Mary: Why's that? You seem to take of your teeth. Your smile looks clean.
Peter: That's it. She knows I am only front flossing. It was embarrassing.
Mary: It should be! Take an extra minute out of your day! I bet you only wash your hands when people are around.
Peter: Sometimes I only use water when soap is available. Even after a poo. I'm a mess!

front flossing by von groovy June 15, 2017

american brown 

A color/skin tone that has been created in the U.S. by people of varying ethnicities having children together. Their children could call themselves this instead of "mixed," "biracial," or "two or more races"on forms. It has no negative connotation whatsoever.

Madison: Have you seen Angelina's baby?
Ashley: Nope. I bet she is gorgeous!
Madison: She is! And so sweet! Her skin tone is just so beautiful. It's like...I can't describe it.
Ashley: American brown?
Madison: Oh my gosh, YES!!

american brown by von groovy June 15, 2017