by trilliam turdsworth September 14, 2021
produced exclusively on remote alaskan islands, fart cheese is one of the rarest foods on the planet. milk is extracted from the breasts of caribou, gently heated over an open flame, then subjected to a barrage of farts offered by the rustic villagers who stand in a circle around the cauldron, relentlessly perfuming the milk. it is believed that the #farticules increase enzymatic activity, resulting in more pronounced flavor and slightly wet texture. the best fartcheeses can be aged upwards of a century. very old fartcheeses may taste of urine, glue and porcini mushrooms, and are said to induce hallucinations and a pleasant tingling in the anus.
by trilliam turdsworth June 24, 2024
Anu's Touch, stylized as Anustouch, is a permanently closed South Indian restaurant in Boobston, NJ that served what some consider them most innovative Indian dish of the 20th century: dehydrated miniature starfish in a brown curry glaze, garnished with corn. It is said to have tasted primarily of rancid vegetable oil. Other restaurants have attempted to reproduce the dish over the years, but none have succeeded in replicating the secret sauce—anu's touch. The founder, Jaggerwal Fatwinder, now long dead, claimed to have dreamt up the dish while under anaesthesia during the removal of a fat deposit in his forearm.
by trilliam turdsworth May 08, 2023
Sometimes used synonymously with #fartographer, a blasticist refers more specifically to a scholar of ancient farts. Among the most decorated blasticists of the late Victorian age was Ismael Afart. In addition to his published works on classical blasting, including his most famous, “Blasting Off in Ancient Persia,” he also left behind several volumes of erotic poetry in Arabic, which celebrated the beauty of the anus.
by trilliam turdsworth December 12, 2023
of or relating to the stainage left inside the toilet bowl after you take a massive; or, a person who is the metaphorical equivalent of said stain.
by trilliam turdsworth June 11, 2017