6 definition by thewilster

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A temporary moment of apprehension, anxiety or shyness that prevents someone from making a routine phone call.
A: "(casually) Could you call the restaurant?"
A: "(hesitantly) Erm... no: you call"
B: "(amused) What's the matter, got phone fear?"
A: "(angrily) No. I just don't feel like talking to them... (frustratedly) Yes okay, I have phone fear -- now *you* call... (sheepishly) please."
by thewilster October 18, 2004

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Describes a repeated failure of two people to establish verbal contact with other over the telephone, resulting in an alternating series of voicemail messages (or messages left with flatmates, etc), bouncing back and forth between the two parties.

Phone tennis is usually unintentional and frustrating. Though in exceptional circumstances could be used as a stalling tactic.

Most common where
1) either or both callers do not have a mobile phone
2) either or both mobiles are often switched off or unheard
3) either or both phones are often engaged
4) both caller have busy schedules
5) both callers know they are meant to have a difficult conversation but would prefer to avoid it
"I've been playing phone tennis with her all day, it's getting ridiculous"

To diffuse each other's annoyances when you finally make contact after receiving their nth message "Hi, looks like we've been playing phone tennis,..."
by thewilster October 18, 2004

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Describes the unfortunate transition by many women from eighteen-year old nubiles into ugly, sweaty, fat, pram-faced mingers with bingo wings. If it's going to happen it usually does by the age of 35. However, it can happen straight out of adolescence, particularly for townies (British trailer trash equivalent).

Mingermorphosis is often the result of watching daytime television, a sedentry life-style and marriage. It is widely believed a pre-requisite for entrance into the audience of Trisha, Jerry Springer, and similar waste-of-space chat show programmes.

Mingermorphosis can be a by-station on the way to becoming an oxygen thief.
"Kirsty Alley used to be really hot before her mingermorphosis"
by thewilster October 18, 2004

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Pron: "re'laysh". Shorter word for relationship.
Debbie, I'm not saying you shouldn't take the factory job in Venezuela; I'm just saying you're not thinking about the impact on our relash.
by thewilster October 24, 2005

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An effeminate way of walking that is suggestive of, though neither necessary nor sufficient for, being gay. This walk, also known as a mince, often emphasizes hip movements, floppy wrists, loose shoulders and a generally camp demeanor.

In straight men may indicate metrosexual tendancies or pretensions to employment in the fashion industry.

Background: Gaytaxia derives from "ataxia" and "ataxic gait", which mean to walk in an unusual manner and are symptomatic of involuntary muscular disorders. By contrast, gaytaxia is predominantly an affectation cultivated with some effort.

Variations: gaytaxic, gaytaxic gait, gaytaxic batchelor (possibly gay single metrosexual)
"That guy is so camp, check out that blatant gaytaxia"

"Dale Winton is a screaming, albeit gaytaxic, heterosexual"
by thewilster November 01, 2004

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Adjective describing lines of conversation (that are often tangential or irrelevant digressions) instrumental only in framing a pun or other such lexical ambiguity humourously applied.

Compare shaggy dog story.
"do you mean to tell me our entire conversation was so you could make one of your stupid puns?"

could be rewritten as

"I now realise our conversation has been entirely punstramental"
by thewilster October 18, 2004

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