127 definitions by thewesthamfan

chuffed to fuck

ecstatic, exceptionally happy over something

"i see alec's chuffed to fuck" commented kevin "one of his gnomes has just come third in the Miss Dagenham competition"
"blimey kev" retorted his dad "who came 1st & 2nd?"
"Two women from Keith Davis' snooker club"

by thewesthamfan December 13, 2003

spontaneous human combustion

to suddenly, and with no apparent reason, burst into flames and within minutes become a human cinder. a.k.a. SHC

defoe was running so fast towards the opponents penalty area that he suddenly suffered an acute spontaneous human combustion

by thewesthamfan November 4, 2003

ancient history

gone for good

"joey 'ad 'is moments" exclaimed dave, "but at the end of the day 'e's ancient history."

by thewesthamfan November 13, 2003

dwarf throwing

to compete to throw a dwarf the farthest. some tried to get this "sport" banned

"stop mucking about with that gnome Alec and get stuck in with your dwarf throwing"

by thewesthamfan November 4, 2003

doughnut swirly

when one is crapping and eating a doughnut at the same time; as one stands to wipe one's arse, one accidentally drops the doughnut into the pan. the dilemma is; should one pick out the doughnut, wash it under the tap, and carry on eating?

colin "what's that brown stain round your north and south kev?"
kevin "i've jus' finished a doughnut swirly."

by thewesthamfan December 15, 2003

backslang

1. to talk reversing every word
2. to talk taking the front letter of each word, putting it at the back and adding "ay"

1. olleh yenttirb, swoh ruoy mub?
2. allohay rittneybay owshay ouryay umbay?

by thewesthamfan November 20, 2003

bunch of fives

a punch in the face

he jus' went ON and ON extolling the virtues of a flat back four so Trevor gave him a bunch of fives

by thewesthamfan November 5, 2003