water the horse

to urinate

Trevor was very keen to take Tracy, but couldn't perform 'cos he badly needed to water the horse

by theWestHamfan November 03, 2003

spontaneous human combustion

to suddenly, and with no apparent reason, burst into flames and within minutes become a human cinder. a.k.a. SHC

defoe was running so fast towards the opponents penalty area that he suddenly suffered an acute spontaneous human combustion

by theWestHamfan November 04, 2003

flak jacket

home made condom. usually made from cling film secured with an elastic band. but can be made from old parachute silk or almost anything.

"what a funny flak jacket" giggled june across the road, "that's surely tonto, one of alec's prize gnomes"

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

deforestation

1. Forest Gate train station.
2. chopped down all de trees.
3. a shaved bearded oyster.

1. are you is goin' to de manor park, or deforestation innit?
2. the deforestation in parsloes is all but complete.
3. kylie has suffered deforestation for her work.

by theWestHamfan December 31, 2003

lost in space

to have sexual intercourse with a woman with an exceptionally large/loose vagina

"blimey sean" "I thought kev's next door neighbour was quite tasty 'til i gave her one - no good - lost in space"

by theWestHamfan December 10, 2003

y-fronts

old-fashioned underpants so called because the fly is made up of an upside down Y shape allowing quick access but still affording cover

Chris "Y-fronts" B***** MP was so excited by Tony's first election victory that he lowered his trousers in public and started masturbating, while singing Things Can Only Get Better and inviting men to perform oral sex on him.
Call me old-fashioned, but what's wrong with a glass of champagne

by theWestHamfan December 15, 2003

penis pushups

laying face down, to push up and lower one's body rythmically, using just the erect penis

the keeper, looking ashen faced, shouted "Trevor, forget those penis pushups, get out of that cage NOW, the gorilla's coming."

by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003