oyster kebab

a kebab comprising sheeps eyes and sheeps testicles. these are placed alternately on the skewer and cooked for about 5 minutes. it is important to start and finish with an eye.

punter: "have you got plenty of oyster kebabs?"
ali: "over two hundred, my friend"
punter, running away: "well you shouldn't have cooked so many, MY FRIEND."

by theWestHamfan November 20, 2003

at the end of the day

after all; used over and over again by football pundits, footballers etc.

"let's face it" said alan "at the end of the day, gazza would be over the moon to be selected for the ladies team."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

water the horse

to urinate

Trevor was very keen to take Tracy, but couldn't perform 'cos he badly needed to water the horse

by theWestHamfan November 03, 2003

labia hotdog

to have sexual intercourse without actual penetration. the labia are stretched around the penis and held in place whilst the thrusting brings ejaculation OUTSIDE the vagina. this is a common form of birth control in Korea

steven was really looking forward to a good bunk up with colin's wife but she would only give him a labia hotdog

by theWestHamfan December 07, 2003

barnstorming

when the roof of the barn has blown off and the rain gets in during a storm - as in IDS

He gave such a barnstorming performance, but zilch votes

by theWestHamfan October 29, 2003

penis fly trap

an ability to lie extemely still whilst stretching ones foreskin in the shape of a large bell. when, at last, a fly lands on the glans, the foreskin is released thus trapping the fly.

the whole team lay there resting whilst exhibiting their penis fly traps. unfortunately for alan he caught a wasp!

by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

velcroed

to get one's moustache inextricably entwined in one's partner's bearded oyster hair

mr & mrs pavarotti had become so firmly velcroed he could not sing at vinny's barmistva. instead they got coldplay

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003