the evil steve's definitions
The uniquely male sensation of having one's scrotum squished into an uncomfortably small area or configuration due to unfortunate seating arrangements. The most common culprit is that poorly-placed knot in your blue jeans where all four denim panels get sewn together at Scro Central.
Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.
In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.
In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Lady Passenger: Why are you grabbing at yourself? Shouldn't you be concentrating on driving?
Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
by The Evil Steve August 28, 2005
Get the sack bunchmug. Very loud, very fast band. Fastest drummer I've ever heard, and the rest of the band keeps up and in time. Not the most complicated or artisticly impressive music, but fuck it - it's metal... what do you want?
In the rare moments the vocalist sings, his voice is pretty decent. 90% of the time, he belches out words in a rapid-fire growl-scream that makes your throat hurt to listen to. Effective for the lyrics and crowd Slipknot plays to.
If one is to believe that Slipknot's lyrics represent the true feelings of the band, these guys wake up more pissed off and hateful than any remotely sane human should ever be in the worst situation imaginable. Therefore, it is safe to say they are a marketing creation geared toward angst-ridden 15-23 year old white males. On drugs. A lot of drugs. A lot of hard, powerful, brain-raping drugs. (The band - not necessarily the target market.)
Technically impressive, artistically passable, lyrically horrid to the point of amusement.
Fear anyone who belives Slipknot's lyrics were written just for him out of pages from his life. The average disaffected adolescent white boy is destructive enough - if he rallies around Slipknot lyrics, you've got another Timothy McVeigh just waiting to happen.
In the rare moments the vocalist sings, his voice is pretty decent. 90% of the time, he belches out words in a rapid-fire growl-scream that makes your throat hurt to listen to. Effective for the lyrics and crowd Slipknot plays to.
If one is to believe that Slipknot's lyrics represent the true feelings of the band, these guys wake up more pissed off and hateful than any remotely sane human should ever be in the worst situation imaginable. Therefore, it is safe to say they are a marketing creation geared toward angst-ridden 15-23 year old white males. On drugs. A lot of drugs. A lot of hard, powerful, brain-raping drugs. (The band - not necessarily the target market.)
Technically impressive, artistically passable, lyrically horrid to the point of amusement.
Fear anyone who belives Slipknot's lyrics were written just for him out of pages from his life. The average disaffected adolescent white boy is destructive enough - if he rallies around Slipknot lyrics, you've got another Timothy McVeigh just waiting to happen.
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
Get the Slipknotmug. To have rights, privileges, and/or other amenities revoked over a period of time with apparent intent of making the Miltonee want to leave. Derived from the Milton character in the movie Office Space, who constantly had his cubicle moved and office supplies removed against his protestations.
Since last year, my boss has taken away lunch breaks, given my job to an intern, and made me share my cubicle with Smelly Mel from Marketing - I'm totally getting Miltoned!
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
Get the Miltonedmug. Obviously, ALL CAPS is the act of typing in all capital letters. The following definitions and examples are to tell you what the all-caps typer's intent is:
1) When used sparingly, typing in all caps emphasizes those words the writer considers critical.
2) When writing rhyme, all caps indicates the syllable/word/beat to be read as accentuated.
3) When used like singles in a strip club, all caps indicates the writer thinks nearly everything spewing from his mouth is of utmost importance. This is the same kind of douchebag who highlights 85% of a textbook. Usually, the writing was forwarded to him from some dogmatic groupthink processing center he subscribes to, but to feel like he contributed, he'll all-caps a fartload of words. Often seen with excessive exclamation points.
4a) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, that person's caps lock is stuck. They need a new keyboard.
4b) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, it was written by a COBOL or FORTRAN programmer, or data-entry person who has worked on COBOL or FORTRAN programs since 1979. They're lost to us on the whole caps-lock issue... just snap their suspenders or flick paperclips into their beehives and move on.
1) When used sparingly, typing in all caps emphasizes those words the writer considers critical.
2) When writing rhyme, all caps indicates the syllable/word/beat to be read as accentuated.
3) When used like singles in a strip club, all caps indicates the writer thinks nearly everything spewing from his mouth is of utmost importance. This is the same kind of douchebag who highlights 85% of a textbook. Usually, the writing was forwarded to him from some dogmatic groupthink processing center he subscribes to, but to feel like he contributed, he'll all-caps a fartload of words. Often seen with excessive exclamation points.
4a) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, that person's caps lock is stuck. They need a new keyboard.
4b) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, it was written by a COBOL or FORTRAN programmer, or data-entry person who has worked on COBOL or FORTRAN programs since 1979. They're lost to us on the whole caps-lock issue... just snap their suspenders or flick paperclips into their beehives and move on.
1) Before feeding lions sausages, DO NOT rub your genitals with beef tallow!
2) There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet
3) The JEWS and BLACKS are in CAHOUTS with THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT and they INTEND to TAKE OVER NASCAR!!!!!
4a) DAMMIT! TWENTY BUCKS DOWN THE FLUSHER FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!
4b) WHEN PRESIDENT FORD SENT ME HIS NOTE ON ARPANET, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS. WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A GREAT MAN?
2) There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet
3) The JEWS and BLACKS are in CAHOUTS with THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT and they INTEND to TAKE OVER NASCAR!!!!!
4a) DAMMIT! TWENTY BUCKS DOWN THE FLUSHER FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!
4b) WHEN PRESIDENT FORD SENT ME HIS NOTE ON ARPANET, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS. WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A GREAT MAN?
by The Evil Steve August 25, 2005
Get the ALL CAPSmug. Tattoo on the small of a woman's back, usually roundish with rays or flames and two colors (green and/or red will be invovled most often), located precisely where a guy should set his beer while nailing her doggie style. Most prevalent with porn stars, wannabe porn stars, biker chicks, drrrty grrrls, and suburban fluff chicks who want everybody to think they're hard.
Gents - Are you horny? Then hit the club and scout for chicks with the Bar Slut Hat Trick - crop top, low-rider pants or skirt, and beer coaster tatt on display. (Tight jeans with high heels also a good indicator.)
by The Evil Steve September 6, 2005
Get the beer coastermug. A hopefully unintentional display of buttcrack. See also "hillbilly cleavage" and "plumber's smile".
by The Evil Steve August 23, 2006
Get the cractionmug. Congress just passed another spending bill giving 695 tardillion dollars to the lobbies that paid for their election campaigns.
by The Evil Steve March 14, 2009
Get the tardillionmug.