the evil steve's definitions
Have you been touched by His Noodly Appendage? Then put on your pirate outfit and join the Pastafarians!
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
Get the pastafarian mug.Obviously, ALL CAPS is the act of typing in all capital letters. The following definitions and examples are to tell you what the all-caps typer's intent is:
1) When used sparingly, typing in all caps emphasizes those words the writer considers critical.
2) When writing rhyme, all caps indicates the syllable/word/beat to be read as accentuated.
3) When used like singles in a strip club, all caps indicates the writer thinks nearly everything spewing from his mouth is of utmost importance. This is the same kind of douchebag who highlights 85% of a textbook. Usually, the writing was forwarded to him from some dogmatic groupthink processing center he subscribes to, but to feel like he contributed, he'll all-caps a fartload of words. Often seen with excessive exclamation points.
4a) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, that person's caps lock is stuck. They need a new keyboard.
4b) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, it was written by a COBOL or FORTRAN programmer, or data-entry person who has worked on COBOL or FORTRAN programs since 1979. They're lost to us on the whole caps-lock issue... just snap their suspenders or flick paperclips into their beehives and move on.
1) When used sparingly, typing in all caps emphasizes those words the writer considers critical.
2) When writing rhyme, all caps indicates the syllable/word/beat to be read as accentuated.
3) When used like singles in a strip club, all caps indicates the writer thinks nearly everything spewing from his mouth is of utmost importance. This is the same kind of douchebag who highlights 85% of a textbook. Usually, the writing was forwarded to him from some dogmatic groupthink processing center he subscribes to, but to feel like he contributed, he'll all-caps a fartload of words. Often seen with excessive exclamation points.
4a) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, that person's caps lock is stuck. They need a new keyboard.
4b) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, it was written by a COBOL or FORTRAN programmer, or data-entry person who has worked on COBOL or FORTRAN programs since 1979. They're lost to us on the whole caps-lock issue... just snap their suspenders or flick paperclips into their beehives and move on.
1) Before feeding lions sausages, DO NOT rub your genitals with beef tallow!
2) There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet
3) The JEWS and BLACKS are in CAHOUTS with THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT and they INTEND to TAKE OVER NASCAR!!!!!
4a) DAMMIT! TWENTY BUCKS DOWN THE FLUSHER FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!
4b) WHEN PRESIDENT FORD SENT ME HIS NOTE ON ARPANET, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS. WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A GREAT MAN?
2) There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet
3) The JEWS and BLACKS are in CAHOUTS with THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT and they INTEND to TAKE OVER NASCAR!!!!!
4a) DAMMIT! TWENTY BUCKS DOWN THE FLUSHER FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!
4b) WHEN PRESIDENT FORD SENT ME HIS NOTE ON ARPANET, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS. WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A GREAT MAN?
by The Evil Steve August 25, 2005
Get the ALL CAPS mug.Shorthand for No Beers Necessary. Used to describe a person so attractive that one wouldn't require a drink to inspire or prepare for denting headboards with them. Can be spoken as 'nibben'.
Guy 1: "Did you see the body on that chick? She's totally NBN!"
Guy 2: "Ummm... dude... she's got three eyes and one eyebrow. Ease up on the Jaeger! Nice rack, though."
Guy 2: "Ummm... dude... she's got three eyes and one eyebrow. Ease up on the Jaeger! Nice rack, though."
by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005
Get the NBN mug.The uniquely male sensation of having one's scrotum squished into an uncomfortably small area or configuration due to unfortunate seating arrangements. The most common culprit is that poorly-placed knot in your blue jeans where all four denim panels get sewn together at Scro Central.
Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.
In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.
In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Lady Passenger: Why are you grabbing at yourself? Shouldn't you be concentrating on driving?
Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
by The Evil Steve August 28, 2005
Get the sack bunch mug.based loosely on the Julian Assange case, referring to the fact that what counts as anything from gross sexual imposition down to just uncool sexual activites in Australia can be considered rape in Sweden. Used to alert braggart friends that their boasting is not particulary welcome. Also used to be a smartass.
Dude 1: "Yeah, the bitch said no to getting all up in dat azz, but I went there anyway."
Dude 2: "Dude! That's rape in Sweden!"
or
Dude 1: "Jagoff walks around with his pants around his knees, so I grab the waistband on his BVDs and hike 'em towards the heavens!"
Dude 2: "snicker Yeah... but that's rape in Sweden! chuckle"
Dude 2: "Dude! That's rape in Sweden!"
or
Dude 1: "Jagoff walks around with his pants around his knees, so I grab the waistband on his BVDs and hike 'em towards the heavens!"
Dude 2: "snicker Yeah... but that's rape in Sweden! chuckle"
by The Evil Steve December 20, 2010
Get the rape in Sweden mug.A hopefully unintentional display of buttcrack. See also "hillbilly cleavage" and "plumber's smile".
by The Evil Steve August 23, 2006
Get the craction mug.A person who vapidly, unthinkingly yet wholeheartedly repeats, shares and takes to heart phrases and ideas he/she hears from his perceived leader. Most often (OK, damned near exclusively) applied to followers of right-wing media magnates like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage Weiner, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, et al. A ditto monkey is often a raging dullard who can't normally put two syllables together without a paper clip, yet when the topic of their idol's specialty comes up (usually politics), his eyes glaze over and he eloquently spews words you know he couldn't otherwise possibly understand.
"Oh great... E-mail from Patrick. Hideous spelling, every fourth word in ALL CAPS, punctuation looks like a typewriter threw up, and he's blaming the weather on the Clintons. What a flippin' ditto monkey!"
by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005
Get the ditto monkey mug.