the comand'r's definitions

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat

Hub: ah, dousche defined

by the comand'r January 2, 2024

fondookie

A dump that follows eating and immense amount of fondue. Also known as fonduece or fondump.

That guy was drinking so much and eating so cheese, that when he went skinny dipping later that night, he ended up laying a fondookie in the pool. He cleared the whole pool out when somebody noticed and yelled "We've got a code brown. Fondookie in the pool!"

by the comand'r October 5, 2013

no Starbucks

A location that is so remote that it does not even have a Starbucks within 5 minutes.

Driving through Paradise California a few months after the Camp Fire...
Jillian: Wow, this place is really desolate. It's like we are in the middle of nowhere.
Terry: Ya it is, no Starbucks.
Jillian: Not even able to place a mobile order to pull a Starbucks virtual cut.

by the comand'r June 25, 2019

Heat seat

The uncomfortable situation when using a toilet and the seat is warm from the previous user.

Brendan: I was at work early this am and hardly anyone was in the office, though when I went to take a dump, I found the seat was warm.

Frank: Man, what are the odds. There are four stalls and you chose the one with the heat seat.

Brendan: ya, not great way to start my day. I was simply finishing my coffee.

by the comand'r October 15, 2016

shit gravy

diarrhea

Paige went to Cabo last weekend and had a blast, no pun intended. Loved the food, but ended up making shit gravy because if it.

by the comand'r September 20, 2018

fumpire

Short for "f-ing umpire" or a lame umpire/referee who makes poor or one-sided calls in a game, especially against your team.

That fumpire is horrible. If he had another eye, he'd be a cyclops!

by the comand'r October 3, 2013

plowed and loud

When someone is hammered thereby driving their voice up significantly.

I love the Gru, but he's noisy enough when he's sober, but when he drinks he is plowed and loud

by the comand'r October 26, 2017