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Definitions by the birds and trees

jesus freak 

A self-professed Christian who labors under the mistaken impression that Christians are persecuted in this country, and that he or she is commonly persecuted for his or her beliefs. These people usually attempt to convert everyone they know or meet to their own denomination of "born again" Christianity, thereby alienating a number of non-Christians as well as Christians of denominations not of their own, then attribute their subsequent shunning by society to a fictitious, widespread anti-Christian mania.
Josh: "Hi, my name is Josh, and I'm a Jesus freak."
Tim "Hi, my name is Tim, and I'm Jewish."
Josh: "You need the love of Jesus in your life! Repent! You're going to hell!"
Tim: *walks away*
Josh: "Why do you hate me? Why must I be persecuted?!"
A Pokemon card/creature resembling a snake made out of rocks. The phallic nature of this creature was noted in a sly reference in the manga Aoi House.
Is that an onix in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
onix by the birds and trees May 14, 2007

nationalism 

The murderous belief that the citizens of one nation have more of a right to live and enjoy life than those of another country, and that the health an prosperity of the citizens of one country is worth any amount of suffering and death anywhere else.
An exerpt of a poem parodying nationalism:

"O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it-for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen. "

miscegenation 

A beautiful thing that happens when two people of different races are able to start a family.
Main opponents of miscegenation are white supremacists who are obsessed with the "purity" of the white race.

Islamophobia 

Irrational fear or hatred of Muslims. Usually found immediately after any terrorist event, resulting in persecution and intimidation of law-abiding Muslim Americans, or anyone who could be mistaken for a Muslim or Arab. Contrary to ultra-right-wing rhetoric, Islamophobia is not disagreeing with the religion of Islam or Sharia law. Islamophobia is fear of Muslims.
Examples of Islamophobia:

1. Reporting your Muslim neighbor to the Department of Homeland Security because you thought the lawnmower he was repairing in his garage was a bomb.
2. Shooting a Sikh store clerk because he was wearing a turban, and you thought that only Muslims wear turbans.
3. Attacking a Muslim woman on the street because you thought she was a terrorist.
4. Detaining law-abiding Muslims and sending them to Guantanamo for extremely shady reasons.

Peasants 

An insult for one who is ignorant, uncouth, rude and rustic, with insinuations of poor personal hygiene.
From now on, you peasants are dead to me!
Peasants by the birds and trees February 27, 2007

hassel to the hoff 

David Hasselhoff's new hip-hop persona. Yes, you read correctly. He thinks he's a rapper now.
Hassel to the Hoff's new single went platinum in Germany.