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telephony's definitions

broken

When referring to a pet cat or dog that's been "fixed", they're actually broken. I mean, think about it...when a pet has its cunt cut out or has its nads chopped off, it is no longer capable of doing something that it was rather easily able to before -- that is, make kittens or puppies!
Yeah, Nikki has been broken; she got spayed approx. nine years ago and can no longer have little baby kitties.
by Telephony June 6, 2015
mugGet the brokenmug.

plastic cat toliet

An alternate phrase that is simply another way of saying "litterbox".

Called the "plastic cat toliet" because litterboxes are generally made of plastic and they have but one function: a cat pisses & shits into it -- thus making it a toliet for cats.
Craig, it's time to clean out the plastic cat toliet; it's getting awfully full!!!
by Telephony December 27, 2011
mugGet the plastic cat tolietmug.

bloody hatchet wound

Slang term for the female cunt; esp. if that pussy's owner is on the rag.
Don't fuck Jessica tonight; she has a bloody hatchet wound and you'll get your dick covered in her menstruation!!!
by Telephony September 30, 2018
mugGet the bloody hatchet woundmug.

carperpetuation

The act of, when vaccuming, running over a piece of lint or string eight or nine times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, examining it, then throwing it back down to give the vacuum one last chance.
Repeat as frequently as necessary.
Linda!
You're doing carperpetuation again!
Just take that fucking piece of string over to the wastepaperbasket or flush it away in the shitbowl instead of pissing away the whole goddamn day trying to vaccum it up!
by Telephony August 6, 2014
mugGet the carperpetuationmug.

charmangulation

Tearing, ripping, or otherwise mutilating the first several sheets off of a new toilet roll in an attempt to find the "start".
Man that's totally F'ed up!!! You really committed charmangulation on that roll of bungwipe, didn't you?
by Telephony November 15, 2010
mugGet the charmangulationmug.

pissblanket

A plastic mattress protector; used to prevent a mattress from becoming wrecked if somebody has enuresis (if they piss the bed). They are often found on beds at group homes and similar facilities.
Robbins then thinks about the pissblankets on every bed in the joint, so he rips the pissblanket off of one of the beds, goes around and unscrews all of the light bulbs he can get to, pours the generous helping of light bulbs into the pissblanket (approx. 24 bulbs), gathers up the edges, and whirls the bulging pissblanket over his head -- striking the wall with it a number of times until he is absolutely, positively, 100% certain that all of the bulbs inside are busted. He then crams the pissblanket and its cargo of broken bulbs into a nearby wastepaperbasket.
by Telephony April 16, 2011
mugGet the pissblanketmug.

toilet paper warden

A person (typically the leader of a sizeable household) that rations out bungwipe on an as-needed basis.
The need for toilet paper wardens became evident when the COVD-19 (coronavirus) pandemic of 2020 caused massive hoarding (and subsequent depletion) of rollios across the United States.
Kim has volunteered to become the toilet paper warden of the Trowbridge household because little Heidi upstairs has been going through massive amounts of paper toliets in attempts to grow algae and fungi in cups.
by Telephony March 26, 2020
mugGet the toilet paper wardenmug.

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