Definitions by somejirgawirgadirgabroCALL911
Peanuts
Please refer to this story about peanuts from r/TIFU:
TIFU by letting my 3 year old shower with me...
Now she's only three so she's naturally curious. She also has a hard time saying penis (she calls it peanuts). So the FU happens when we don't have a lot of time to get ready and me and her are both really dirty. I had been working on the yard and she was playing in the dirt, despite our constant telling her to not get in the dirt. So my wife just says to take her in the shower with me. I begrudgingly agree and take her and we get in the shower. Well, a few minutes in I'm washing my hair out not really watching what she's doing and I feel a little prodding on my tip... I open my eyes and she is staring at my penis and poking it. I ask her what she thinks she's doing and she just says "I'm just looking at your peanuts. You have a big peanuts dad." Now I can't really get mad at her because in her mind she hasn't ever really experienced it before and she's just curious, but at the same time I'm mortified and just hoping this isn't the start of some Oedipus level shit. I calmly tell her that that's my private part and she shouldn't be touching it without my permission. She says "ok dad. I like your peanuts." I decided then that that it was probably time for get to get out. My wife heard the whole exchange and comes waking in laughing hysterically. Maybe I'm overreacting about it, but it's still something that haunts me.
TIFU by letting my 3 year old shower with me...
Now she's only three so she's naturally curious. She also has a hard time saying penis (she calls it peanuts). So the FU happens when we don't have a lot of time to get ready and me and her are both really dirty. I had been working on the yard and she was playing in the dirt, despite our constant telling her to not get in the dirt. So my wife just says to take her in the shower with me. I begrudgingly agree and take her and we get in the shower. Well, a few minutes in I'm washing my hair out not really watching what she's doing and I feel a little prodding on my tip... I open my eyes and she is staring at my penis and poking it. I ask her what she thinks she's doing and she just says "I'm just looking at your peanuts. You have a big peanuts dad." Now I can't really get mad at her because in her mind she hasn't ever really experienced it before and she's just curious, but at the same time I'm mortified and just hoping this isn't the start of some Oedipus level shit. I calmly tell her that that's my private part and she shouldn't be touching it without my permission. She says "ok dad. I like your peanuts." I decided then that that it was probably time for get to get out. My wife heard the whole exchange and comes waking in laughing hysterically. Maybe I'm overreacting about it, but it's still something that haunts me.
Peanuts by somejirgawirgadirgabroCALL911 September 23, 2019
Caucasity
When white people believe it's such a great experience to get married and laid on top of an active volcano, while held at a gunpoint in Democratic Republic of Congo amidst an active civil war by locals acting as militiamen, with real blood diamond encrusted rings and brag about this adventure on Instagram!
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6312963/Newlyweds-slammed-getting-married-volcano-staging-wedding-photos-Congo.html is an absolute caucasity!
Caucasity by somejirgawirgadirgabroCALL911 October 28, 2018