white eyeliner

The act of ejaculating on a woman's face -- via either wild masturbation or a priceless blow job -- and then using your cock to rub jism around the woman's eye as if applying eyeliner.

The woman is then ready for a fanstastic night on the town! All that remains is for you to put on her dirty sanchez disguise!

Somehow, she looked less like a whore, and more like your mom, when I applied some white eyeliner.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

archimedes screw

A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.

-- or --

When Archimedes has sex with his wife.

-- or --

When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.

-- or --

An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.

In an incredibly archane reference to an ancient invention, a sexual double entendre is achieved.

by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004

Easter Basket

General term for all of the parts of a woman related to the storage and dispersal of eggs, including the ovaries, uterus, and vagina.

Woman: "Ow! That bitch just kicked me right in the Easter Basket!"

- or -

Art Critic: "Damn, Picasso, I've never before seen a square Easter Basket".

- or -

OBGYN: "I haven't seen an Easter Basket this messed up since my mom got the egg dye mixed up with the pancake batter".

- or -

ER Doctor: (Removing fragments of chicken-egg shells from inside a woman's vagina) "You really aren't clear on the concept, are you?"

by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010

clown moustache

After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.

Woman: "I am now afraid of clowns because after going down on me you had a clown moustache."

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

monkey poop

1. The feces a monkey exudes.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.

Boss: "You should work overtime this weekend."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."

- or -

Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."

- or -

Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."

- or -

Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."

by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003

Asskerchief

A pornographic sub-genre similar to cake farts wherein a person blows their nose into the open anus of another person. While the method of sexual gratification is unclear, it provides great humor to those involved.

"The asskerchief is an inefficient way to clear one's nasal passages."

- or -

Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."

Friend: "What did she say?"

Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."

Friend: "That seems excessive."

Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."

- or -

Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."

Friend: "Normal?"

Man: "Well... MORE normal."

by scorpionmintred March 13, 2019

Danger Clit

A superhero born in North Pussyville, descended from the clan of Wettingwetwet.

Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.

Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.

Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.

Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.

Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.

Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.

Who's the pink private clit that makes the pussies allllll wet? Clit! Thaaat's wrong.

Danger clit.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003