monkey poop

1. The feces a monkey exudes.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
Boss: "You should work overtime this weekend."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."

- or -

Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."

- or -

Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."

- or -

Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
by scorpionmintred December 31, 2003
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collapsed soufflé

1. (n.) The sides of a fat woman that are compressed by pants so badly that skin and fat pours over the sides of the pants, looking like a collapsed soufflé.

Note: This is a more severe condition than a muffin top in that even moderately heavy girls can get a bit "muffiny", but only genuinely obese women can have a collapsed soufflé.

2. (n.) The skin of a woman's stomach after pregnancy, when it looks deflated and wrinkly, like a collapsed soufflé.

This condition may also affect other parts of the body after liposuction.
Kat: Hey Jenny, I guess you turned the oven off too early.

Jenny: What ever do you mean by that?

Kat: You totally have a collapsed soufflé.

- or -

Kat: Aw, Brenda, your baby is so cute.

Brenda: Whatever, that little ass gave me the worst case of collapsed soufflé!

Kat: Yeah he did. I think it's dragging on the floor. ::throws up::

- or -

Doctor: Who the hell was eating dessert in my OR?!

Nurse: Um, doctor, that's the patient.

Doctor: By god she's fat.

- or -

French Chef: Bon! My finest soufflé is finally ready for le "prime time"!

Oaf Busboy: ::knocks into table::

Soufflé: ::collapses::

French Chef: You oaf! Get ze hell out of my kitchen!

Oaf Busboy: Fuck you, chef! That thing looks like your mother's hips!
by scorpionmintred March 18, 2010
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Urgent Pirate

When a man cannot wait to place his erect penis in a woman's bum, and so hastens around sticking his penis in any asses he can find. Possibly he would even pirate a man's ass in his haste. Very bad news to be standing in front of such a pirate in line for, say, groceries.
That Urgent Pirate just stabbed your nasty-ass mom in the butt!
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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Cubist Period

When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.

-also-

When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."

-or-

Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."

-or-

German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"

-or-

Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
by scorpionmintred March 24, 2004
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clown moustache

After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.
Woman: "I am now afraid of clowns because after going down on me you had a clown moustache."
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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rude awakening

The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.

Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."

- or -

The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.

- or -

"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."

- or -

"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 02, 2005
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foot snow

For some reason, women have invented a rediculous notion! They think that scraping their feet with a sand-paper like paddle to remove dead skin is a good idea.

In actuality, unless you have a giant foot fetish, it is the most disgusting noise you have ever heard, and it leaves a giant pile of dead skin scrapings all over your stuff.

Someone with a foot fetish may enjoy snorting this residue as if it were cocaine.
Amanda, get that foot snow the hell away from me!
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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