HIV Lane

The anus of a man infected with HIV.
He rode the HIV Lane on the Hershey Highway all night long and then died five years later.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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Count Von Pennies

A proper noun used in place of calling someone "Jewish" for being cheap.
Sarcasm Master: "Why don't you spring for the large fries, Count Von Pennies?"
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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scientology

1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.

2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.

3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"

Man: "No."

2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"

3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"

Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"

Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"

Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
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Danger Clit

A superhero born in North Pussyville, descended from the clan of Wettingwetwet.

Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.

Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.

Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.

Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.

Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.

Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.
Who's the pink private clit that makes the pussies allllll wet? Clit! Thaaat's wrong.

Danger clit.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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Red Baron

1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.

2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.

3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.

The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."

- or -

"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."

- or -

"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."

- or -

"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."

- or -

"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 12, 2007
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white eyeliner

The act of ejaculating on a woman's face -- via either wild masturbation or a priceless blow job -- and then using your cock to rub jism around the woman's eye as if applying eyeliner.

The woman is then ready for a fanstastic night on the town! All that remains is for you to put on her dirty sanchez disguise!
Somehow, she looked less like a whore, and more like your mom, when I applied some white eyeliner.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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Grinding the Corn

When you put corn in a woman's vagina and grind it as with a mortar and pestle, except in this case it is her pussy and your cock.

You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.

By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
Little did anyone at the thanksgiving table know, but the creamed corn was made by grinding the corn in my girlfriend's twat just earlier.
by scorpionmintred August 16, 2004
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