1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
Get the scientology mug.The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
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"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
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"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
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"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
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"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 01, 2005
Get the rude awakening mug.When you put corn in a woman's vagina and grind it as with a mortar and pestle, except in this case it is her pussy and your cock.
You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.
By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.
By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
Little did anyone at the thanksgiving table know, but the creamed corn was made by grinding the corn in my girlfriend's twat just earlier.
by scorpionmintred August 15, 2004
Get the Grinding the Corn mug.When a woman is passed out, either from her own actions or by way of your rufies, the act of fucking her in the ass wildly and then drawing doodles on her sheets using your feces-stained penis.
These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.
These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.
That passed out bitch didn't appreciate that I ass crayoned her bed.
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I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.
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I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the ass crayon mug.1. (n.) The sides of a fat woman that are compressed by pants so badly that skin and fat pours over the sides of the pants, looking like a collapsed soufflé.
Note: This is a more severe condition than a muffin top in that even moderately heavy girls can get a bit "muffiny", but only genuinely obese women can have a collapsed soufflé.
2. (n.) The skin of a woman's stomach after pregnancy, when it looks deflated and wrinkly, like a collapsed soufflé.
This condition may also affect other parts of the body after liposuction.
Note: This is a more severe condition than a muffin top in that even moderately heavy girls can get a bit "muffiny", but only genuinely obese women can have a collapsed soufflé.
2. (n.) The skin of a woman's stomach after pregnancy, when it looks deflated and wrinkly, like a collapsed soufflé.
This condition may also affect other parts of the body after liposuction.
Kat: Hey Jenny, I guess you turned the oven off too early.
Jenny: What ever do you mean by that?
Kat: You totally have a collapsed soufflé.
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Kat: Aw, Brenda, your baby is so cute.
Brenda: Whatever, that little ass gave me the worst case of collapsed soufflé!
Kat: Yeah he did. I think it's dragging on the floor. ::throws up::
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Doctor: Who the hell was eating dessert in my OR?!
Nurse: Um, doctor, that's the patient.
Doctor: By god she's fat.
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French Chef: Bon! My finest soufflé is finally ready for le "prime time"!
Oaf Busboy: ::knocks into table::
Soufflé: ::collapses::
French Chef: You oaf! Get ze hell out of my kitchen!
Oaf Busboy: Fuck you, chef! That thing looks like your mother's hips!
Jenny: What ever do you mean by that?
Kat: You totally have a collapsed soufflé.
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Kat: Aw, Brenda, your baby is so cute.
Brenda: Whatever, that little ass gave me the worst case of collapsed soufflé!
Kat: Yeah he did. I think it's dragging on the floor. ::throws up::
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Doctor: Who the hell was eating dessert in my OR?!
Nurse: Um, doctor, that's the patient.
Doctor: By god she's fat.
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French Chef: Bon! My finest soufflé is finally ready for le "prime time"!
Oaf Busboy: ::knocks into table::
Soufflé: ::collapses::
French Chef: You oaf! Get ze hell out of my kitchen!
Oaf Busboy: Fuck you, chef! That thing looks like your mother's hips!
by scorpionmintred March 18, 2010
Get the collapsed soufflé mug.When a man cannot wait to place his erect penis in a woman's bum, and so hastens around sticking his penis in any asses he can find. Possibly he would even pirate a man's ass in his haste. Very bad news to be standing in front of such a pirate in line for, say, groceries.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the Urgent Pirate mug.1. When a man is a fiend for having sex whilst the woman is on the rag, but cannot find himself a menstruating woman, he secretly squirts ketchup into the woman's vaginal canal before sex.
2. When a man's girlfriend is not on the pill, and he wants to cum inside her when she isn't actually on the rag. He secretly squirts ketchup inside her vaginal canal whilst she sleeps so she wakes up thinking she has her period.
2. When a man's girlfriend is not on the pill, and he wants to cum inside her when she isn't actually on the rag. He secretly squirts ketchup inside her vaginal canal whilst she sleeps so she wakes up thinking she has her period.
Woman: "My entire reproductive tract is ruined from poor man's menses".
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Woman: "I don't know how I keep getting pregnant while I'm on the rag!"
Man: "Maybe it's all the poor man's menses I've been squirting inside you?"
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Abortionist: "What the hell is that??"
Woman: "Poor man's menses and a week-old fetus?"
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OBGYN: "What the hell is that?"
Woman: "I don't know, but it goes great with french fries!"
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OBGYN: "Damn, this goes well with french fries!"
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Woman: "I don't know how I keep getting pregnant while I'm on the rag!"
Man: "Maybe it's all the poor man's menses I've been squirting inside you?"
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Abortionist: "What the hell is that??"
Woman: "Poor man's menses and a week-old fetus?"
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OBGYN: "What the hell is that?"
Woman: "I don't know, but it goes great with french fries!"
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OBGYN: "Damn, this goes well with french fries!"
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the poor man's menses mug.