immigrant

Politically correctslang for "slave". Basically, immigration was the United States's perfect way of coping with the abolishment of slavery because all it had to do was lure the unfortunate souls from their home countries into America with its bullshit "Land of Opportunity" advertisements, and cruelly exploit them like animals for years, even their entire lives, while dangling the green card just out of their reach.
American: Immigrants are sub-humans in our eyes, but we can easily make them work for 80-hours a week for $1.50 an hour if we want to because they have no rights in our country!
by sarcastic March 29, 2004
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Scion

The car looks like a fucking hearse. When I first saw someone in my town driving this ugly vehicle, I thought he was going to a funeral.
I can buy an old hearse from a car auction, add two extra seats in the back, give it a new paint job, put in a new engine, and it would look EXACTLY like the Toyota Scion, but half the price.
by sarcastic May 20, 2004
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Wal-Mart

One thing that pisses one off when buying anything at Wal-Mart is that only one or two checkout aisles are open, even during rush hour.

But on the bright side, Wal-Mart sells the latest computers dirt-cheap. All you have to do is uninstall Linux, throw away the CD, and install your favorite version of Windows, all for $399.99 or less.
At 2:30 in the morning, on my way back from a trip, I stopped at a local Wal-Mart to buy motor oil and coolant, and saw that the store was just as packed with frantic customers as it was at 2:30 in the afternoon. Yikes!
by sarcastic April 12, 2004
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American cheese

Proof that oil and water DO mix after all.

This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.
I made the terrible mistake of buying American cheese (hey, it cost half as much as Cheddar). The next day, I woke up with explosive diarrhea because that shit just went right through my digestive tract.
by sarcastic December 17, 2003
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oil

A hydrocarbon-based, flammable, highly-polluting liquid formed as a result of millions of years of decaying sediment composed of dead microscopic animals. This fossil fuel is the lifeblood of our Industrial civilization, and for as long as it can be cheaply extracted, we are hopelessly dependent upon it for transportation, agriculture, electricity, fashion, chemicals, fertilizers, cosmetics, plastics, medical, and technological needs.

Unfortunately for us, the geologists, analysts, mathematicians, and former oil-company employees have all repeatedly come up with proof that our oil supply will be almost gone by the end of the 21st century, and that oil production will peak within a few years from now, if it hasn't already sone so.
After it peaks the oil will then become more expensive to extract than to use. And immediately after that, prices will soar, businesses will shut down, people will panic like animals, economies will collapse, wars will break out, blood will soak the ground, and billions of people will die horrible deaths as our species shrinks back to the population of the 1700s, or even that of Medieval times.

All because of that cursed, smelly brown muck that was once found oozing from the round.
Our religious belief that our oil supply is infinite will be the death of billions of us when Nature eventually forces us to see how wrong we are. Too bad we STILL haven't advanced our alternative fuel sources to prepare for that inevitable day when the last drop of cheap oil can be extracted.
by sarcastic March 03, 2004
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AOL

While the service does suck dogshit, and is incredibly slow at times, and is full of glitches, the REAL fun comes when you are cancelling your membership, because the representatives will do anything to keep you using the AOL service, and they don't seem to understand the word "NO".
Joe: I would like to cancel my AOL membership.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.
by sarcastic August 21, 2004
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RIAA

A joke-for-an-organization that can't accept that an MP3 is merely an inferior copy of the actual song, just like a videotape of a show is inferior to being at the show yourself.
The worst mistake the RIAA is making is to piss off the bootleggers and the hackers. The RIAA, instead, should have learned to EMBRACE the new technology before the pirates exploited it first.
by sarcastic May 24, 2003
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