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BourJersey

Denoting the American middle class.

Unlike the French Bourgeoisie, the BourJersey prefers tankinis to martinis, the Jersey Shore to the Seine, burgers to baguette, flip flops to Stan Smiths, and vape pens to cigarettes.
Lauren met a very bourjersey dude on Tinder, and they went on a date at the Boardwalk and tossed a football until dawn.
by nolandc October 4, 2019
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Data Dump

Time spent on the office toilet, scrolling through social media to avoid responsibilities. Offers a way to relax without your manager seeing.

Finished with wiping and now only swiping, a data dumper will consume gigabytes-worth of data on IG and YouTube.
Garrett spent the last hour of his shift on a data dump.
by nolandc February 14, 2020
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Hanes Miscalculation

(n.) the act of wearing an unflattering pair of underwear, erroneously calculating that no one would see you in your underwear for the day.

Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Person 1: Lauren saw me in my workout-only boxer briefs today
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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Apple Prayer

A subconcious train of thought that expresses admiration for Apple products. Often recited in high school hallways, college campuses, and fat commutes.

The Apple Prayer: "Airpods have changed my life; Please end my strife with a new Apple Watch. Thank you, god, for Apple Cash. Oh, lmao, Siri's trash."
Damian gave an Apple Prayer before his exam.
by nolandc October 2, 2019
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K2 Complex

(n.) a sensation of inferiority arising in an ultra-tall person when they walk into a room and there is someone taller.

Named after the second highest mountain on earth, K2.
Shaq struggled with a K2 Complex when playing against Yao Ming.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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1-800 prophecy

(n.) a correct prediction when one's phone rings that it is a telemarketer calling.

A 1-800 prophecy is often celebrated by briefly answering the call to insult the telemarketer.
We toasted to Cameron's 1-800 prophecy at dinner.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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shelf death

(n.) the choice to give up on your crush because you've been put on the shelf for too long.

Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
Luke is going through a tough shelf death after Mary stopped responding to his messages last month.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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