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nolandc's definitions

Hanes Miscalculation

(n.) the act of wearing an unflattering pair of underwear, erroneously calculating that no one would see you in your underwear for the day.

Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Person 1: Lauren saw me in my workout-only boxer briefs today
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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father on the feet

(n.) a girl who wears dad shoes.

Fathers on the feet have multiplied since Balenciaga's White Sneakers became trendy in 2017. Also called "Walkathon Patriarchs" because they empower the patriarchy's aesthetics "one step at a time."
Did u see Rebecca's outfit? Absolute father on the feet.
by nolandc September 26, 2019
mugGet the father on the feetmug.

Lord Farquaad energy

Influential, aggressive males under 5'7. Value respect and allegiance above all else. Often hard-working and aggressive as an outcome of compensation. When you come across one, you can just tell: their favorite character in the film Shrek is Lord Farquaad.

An attractive trait if monitored. Despotic if left unchecked.
Fiona: His empire is hot but his insecurity is not.
Lucy: He's got serious Lord Farquaad Energy.
by nolandc August 13, 2019
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shelf death

(n.) the choice to give up on your crush because you've been put on the shelf for too long.

Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
Luke is going through a tough shelf death after Mary stopped responding to his messages last month.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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1-800 prophecy

(n.) a correct prediction when one's phone rings that it is a telemarketer calling.

A 1-800 prophecy is often celebrated by briefly answering the call to insult the telemarketer.
We toasted to Cameron's 1-800 prophecy at dinner.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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K2 Complex

(n.) a sensation of inferiority arising in an ultra-tall person when they walk into a room and there is someone taller.

Named after the second highest mountain on earth, K2.
Shaq struggled with a K2 Complex when playing against Yao Ming.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
mugGet the K2 Complexmug.

Alonavirus

The ailment contracted by lonely singles after Valentine’s Day. Symptoms include feverish right-swiping on dating apps and a renewed desire to wreck the gym. The general public can protect itself by wearing masks, to avoid smelling Alonavirus victims’ brand new cologne: Dior Amour.

Also known as Heartbrokenfluenza, not to be confused with the Common Cold Heart.
Adam contracted Alonavirus on Valentine’s Day when he binged-watched all of his friends’ romantic Instagram stories.
by nolandc February 22, 2020
mugGet the Alonavirusmug.

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