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nolandc's definitions

first-wheeling

(n.) to take oneself out on date.

When a couple requests to be alone, a third wheel derails into a first wheel. First-wheeling can be devastating for individuals who dislike their own company.

A good first-wheel could start with laying out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; then unicycling home under the rose-colored sunset. When you get back, to look in the mirror, telling yourself, "my treat," and then blushing, flattered.
Martyn: "Nolan, I am getting tired of you coming on my dinner dates with Phosie."
Nolan: "Ok, I will start first-wheeling and get to know myself better."
Martyn: "Maximal pleb behavior."
by nolandc September 20, 2019
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Apple Prayer

A subconcious train of thought that expresses admiration for Apple products. Often recited in high school hallways, college campuses, and fat commutes.

The Apple Prayer: "Airpods have changed my life; Please end my strife with a new Apple Watch. Thank you, god, for Apple Cash. Oh, lmao, Siri's trash."
Damian gave an Apple Prayer before his exam.
by nolandc October 2, 2019
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Hanes Miscalculation

(n.) the act of wearing an unflattering pair of underwear, erroneously calculating that no one would see you in your underwear for the day.

Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Person 1: Lauren saw me in my workout-only boxer briefs today
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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Data Dump

Time spent on the office toilet, scrolling through social media to avoid responsibilities. Offers a way to relax without your manager seeing.

Finished with wiping and now only swiping, a data dumper will consume gigabytes-worth of data on IG and YouTube.
Garrett spent the last hour of his shift on a data dump.
by nolandc February 14, 2020
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Clifford the Blood Red Dawg

(n.) a way to express the darker side of someone

Named after Clifford the Big Red Dog's hood personality.
I lost it when Jeff told me he forgot the wine bottler. I went all Clifford the Blood Red Dawg.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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Booze bark

(v.) To confess one's feelings in an uncontrolled, drunken emission.

Due to the intensity and emotion of the statement, a booze bark often resembles the bark of a German shepherd or other oversized canines.

A booze bark will most often occur in loud clubs or Uber rides home, but it may also come to pass by late-night voicemails, at office happy hours, and during going-away parties.
Aaron: "Iloveyoujess."
Jess: "Ew Aaron, stop booze barking."
by nolandc August 30, 2019
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Class Clooney

The designated hot person in a class, alongside the class clown and teacher's pet.

When the Class Clooney asks a question, the rest of the class is encouraged to stop scrolling and look up for the first time since class began, so they can subtly objectify the charming timbre in the Class Clooney's voice, and calmly envy their every atom.
The Class Clooney caused a disruption when she decided to sit in the back of the class.
by nolandc October 2, 2019
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