nolandc's definitions
After participating in the #deportcannibals movement on Twitter, Mike and Jenna entered a snowflake affair.
by nolandc September 8, 2019
Get the snowflake affairmug. (n.) to take oneself out on date.
When a couple requests to be alone, a third wheel derails into a first wheel. First-wheeling can be devastating for individuals who dislike their own company.
A good first-wheel could start with laying out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; then unicycling home under the rose-colored sunset. When you get back, to look in the mirror, telling yourself, "my treat," and then blushing, flattered.
When a couple requests to be alone, a third wheel derails into a first wheel. First-wheeling can be devastating for individuals who dislike their own company.
A good first-wheel could start with laying out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; then unicycling home under the rose-colored sunset. When you get back, to look in the mirror, telling yourself, "my treat," and then blushing, flattered.
Martyn: "Nolan, I am getting tired of you coming on my dinner dates with Phosie."
Nolan: "Ok, I will start first-wheeling and get to know myself better."
Martyn: "Maximal pleb behavior."
Nolan: "Ok, I will start first-wheeling and get to know myself better."
Martyn: "Maximal pleb behavior."
by nolandc September 20, 2019
Get the first-wheelingmug. The ailment contracted by lonely singles after Valentine’s Day. Symptoms include feverish right-swiping on dating apps and a renewed desire to wreck the gym. The general public can protect itself by wearing masks, to avoid smelling Alonavirus victims’ brand new cologne: Dior Amour.
Also known as Heartbrokenfluenza, not to be confused with the Common Cold Heart.
Also known as Heartbrokenfluenza, not to be confused with the Common Cold Heart.
Adam contracted Alonavirus on Valentine’s Day when he binged-watched all of his friends’ romantic Instagram stories.
by nolandc February 22, 2020
Get the Alonavirusmug. (n.) a sensation of inferiority arising in an ultra-tall person when they walk into a room and there is someone taller.
Named after the second highest mountain on earth, K2.
Named after the second highest mountain on earth, K2.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
Get the K2 Complexmug. (n.) a correct prediction when one's phone rings that it is a telemarketer calling.
A 1-800 prophecy is often celebrated by briefly answering the call to insult the telemarketer.
A 1-800 prophecy is often celebrated by briefly answering the call to insult the telemarketer.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
Get the 1-800 prophecymug. (n.) the choice to give up on your crush because you've been put on the shelf for too long.
Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
Get the shelf deathmug. (n.) any get-together with the sole purpose of recreational drug use.
Encompasses marijuana galas, Netflix n' MDMA, heroin soirées, crack cocaine conferences, xanax assemblies, magic mushroom lectures, and crystal meth annual benefit dinners.
Encompasses marijuana galas, Netflix n' MDMA, heroin soirées, crack cocaine conferences, xanax assemblies, magic mushroom lectures, and crystal meth annual benefit dinners.
by nolandc September 9, 2019
Get the ketamine banquetmug.