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nolandc's definitions

Sexual Tension Solar System

(n.) A unit of one female and 4+ males that hangs out together. Held together because the girl is leading all of them on simultaneously.
Between classes, Meg received a massage from two members of her sexual tension solar system.
by nolandc August 31, 2019
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father on the feet

(n.) a girl who wears dad shoes.

Fathers on the feet have multiplied since Balenciaga's White Sneakers became trendy in 2017. Also called "Walkathon Patriarchs" because they empower the patriarchy's aesthetics "one step at a time."
Did u see Rebecca's outfit? Absolute father on the feet.
by nolandc September 26, 2019
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DILB

short for a "Dad I'd Like to Befriend"

Kind, fun, and overweight, DILBs send out family-friendly vibes from all the way across Main Street. One can't help but call him "grill god" and throw a baseball in his direction. Every time a DILB makes a dad joke, a puppy is born in Heaven.
Omg Pete is such a DILB.
by nolandc September 28, 2019
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Fib me a lil

(n.) a brief command, often to a friend, to make only encouraging comments to them. Even if it means they have to "fib a little bit."

Can be conveyed silently with a sharp stare. It is the implied refrain of dictators and friends who just got haircuts.
Emperor Napoleon: Should we invade Russia? ~Fib me a lil.~
Napoleon's Chief Invasion Officer: Yes. ~During the winter.~
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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shelf death

(n.) the choice to give up on your crush because you've been put on the shelf for too long.

Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
Luke is going through a tough shelf death after Mary stopped responding to his messages last month.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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K2 Complex

(n.) a sensation of inferiority arising in an ultra-tall person when they walk into a room and there is someone taller.

Named after the second highest mountain on earth, K2.
Shaq struggled with a K2 Complex when playing against Yao Ming.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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1-800 prophecy

(n.) a correct prediction when one's phone rings that it is a telemarketer calling.

A 1-800 prophecy is often celebrated by briefly answering the call to insult the telemarketer.
We toasted to Cameron's 1-800 prophecy at dinner.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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