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nolandc's definitions

Fiction Wink

(n.) An act misconstrued by one party to be a sign of love.

The term derives from a blink being confused for a wink.
Jenna: "Rachel wants to get coffee with me, she must be into me right?"
Tim: "Girls get coffee all the time. I feel it's just a fiction wink."
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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Fleece Navidaddy

The fictitious love interest that you tell your family about when you come home for the holiday season.

Fleece-wearing, dog-rearing, and law degree-bearing, the Fleece Navidaddy is guaranteed to impress the aunts and uncles.
Mother won’t have a Feliz Navidad unless she hears about your Fleece Navidaddy.
by nolandc December 24, 2019
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high tea wrinkle

(n) the wrinkle that develops on the forehead when meetings encroach on your afternoon snack break.

So called due to the Victorian England tradition of a late afternoon "high tea" and toast after hours of labor.
Cynthia had developed a high tea wrinkle after our strategy meeting went over by 30 minutes.
by nolandc August 30, 2019
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clustertuck

(n.) A group of middle-aged men with tucked-in shirts and hiked-up shorts.

They tend to cluster at social gatherings to vent about their children or work. Most frequently spotted in pockets of Suburban America, the clustertuck is an endangered social unit due to the rise of Millennial fashion trends.
The clustertuck discussed IT solutions at a backyard bbq.
by nolandc August 30, 2019
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DILB

short for a "Dad I'd Like to Befriend"

Kind, fun, and overweight, DILBs send out family-friendly vibes from all the way across Main Street. One can't help but call him "grill god" and throw a baseball in his direction. Every time a DILB makes a dad joke, a puppy is born in Heaven.
Omg Pete is such a DILB.
by nolandc September 28, 2019
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snowflake affair

(n.) A relationship affair that occurs exclusively over Twitter DM.
After participating in the #deportcannibals movement on Twitter, Mike and Jenna entered a snowflake affair.
by nolandc September 8, 2019
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first-wheeling

(n.) to take oneself out on date.

When a couple requests to be alone, a third wheel derails into a first wheel. First-wheeling can be devastating for individuals who dislike their own company.

A good first-wheel could start with laying out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; then unicycling home under the rose-colored sunset. When you get back, to look in the mirror, telling yourself, "my treat," and then blushing, flattered.
Martyn: "Nolan, I am getting tired of you coming on my dinner dates with Phosie."
Nolan: "Ok, I will start first-wheeling and get to know myself better."
Martyn: "Maximal pleb behavior."
by nolandc September 20, 2019
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