nolandc's definitions
(n.) the choice to give up on your crush because you've been put on the shelf for too long.
Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
Get the shelf death mug.The ailment contracted by lonely singles after Valentine’s Day. Symptoms include feverish right-swiping on dating apps and a renewed desire to wreck the gym. The general public can protect itself by wearing masks, to avoid smelling Alonavirus victims’ brand new cologne: Dior Amour.
Also known as Heartbrokenfluenza, not to be confused with the Common Cold Heart.
Also known as Heartbrokenfluenza, not to be confused with the Common Cold Heart.
Adam contracted Alonavirus on Valentine’s Day when he binged-watched all of his friends’ romantic Instagram stories.
by nolandc February 22, 2020
Get the Alonavirus mug.Time spent on the office toilet, scrolling through social media to avoid responsibilities. Offers a way to relax without your manager seeing.
Finished with wiping and now only swiping, a data dumper will consume gigabytes-worth of data on IG and YouTube.
Finished with wiping and now only swiping, a data dumper will consume gigabytes-worth of data on IG and YouTube.
by nolandc February 14, 2020
Get the Data Dump mug.A subconcious train of thought that expresses admiration for Apple products. Often recited in high school hallways, college campuses, and fat commutes.
The Apple Prayer: "Airpods have changed my life; Please end my strife with a new Apple Watch. Thank you, god, for Apple Cash. Oh, lmao, Siri's trash."
The Apple Prayer: "Airpods have changed my life; Please end my strife with a new Apple Watch. Thank you, god, for Apple Cash. Oh, lmao, Siri's trash."
by nolandc October 2, 2019
Get the Apple Prayer mug.(n.) the act of wearing an unflattering pair of underwear, erroneously calculating that no one would see you in your underwear for the day.
Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Person 1: Lauren saw me in my workout-only boxer briefs today
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
Get the Hanes Miscalculation mug.(n.) a failure in friend group politics; when two parties fail to come to an agreement about how a night on the town should play out.
Like in a No Deal Brexit scenario, parties involved in the bar crawl face a severance in relations for the evening, splitting into respective factions. Each must rely on texting outside friends to survive.
Like in a No Deal Brexit scenario, parties involved in the bar crawl face a severance in relations for the evening, splitting into respective factions. Each must rely on texting outside friends to survive.
by nolandc September 12, 2019
Get the No Deal Bar Crawl mug.(n) the wrinkle that develops on the forehead when meetings encroach on your afternoon snack break.
So called due to the Victorian England tradition of a late afternoon "high tea" and toast after hours of labor.
So called due to the Victorian England tradition of a late afternoon "high tea" and toast after hours of labor.
by nolandc August 30, 2019
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