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nolandc's definitions

Data Dump

Time spent on the office toilet, scrolling through social media to avoid responsibilities. Offers a way to relax without your manager seeing.

Finished with wiping and now only swiping, a data dumper will consume gigabytes-worth of data on IG and YouTube.
Garrett spent the last hour of his shift on a data dump.
by nolandc February 14, 2020
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Hanes Miscalculation

(n.) the act of wearing an unflattering pair of underwear, erroneously calculating that no one would see you in your underwear for the day.

Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Person 1: Lauren saw me in my workout-only boxer briefs today
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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Fiction Wink

(n.) An act misconstrued by one party to be a sign of love.

The term derives from a blink being confused for a wink.
Jenna: "Rachel wants to get coffee with me, she must be into me right?"
Tim: "Girls get coffee all the time. I feel it's just a fiction wink."
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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Stiletto Regretto

the regret from wearing high-heeled shoes on a night out.

Sufferers of Stiletto Regretto face severely diminished party drive. Early-onset Stiletto Regretto is known as Cobble Wobble, initiated by the wonky journey made in heels on the uneven street. If already intoxicated, Stiletto Regretto can often lead to a single tear on the cheek - known as High Heel Feels.
Jen contracted Stiletto Regretto when she walked into the bar and was taller than all of her friends.
by nolandc September 28, 2019
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No Deal Bar Crawl

(n.) a failure in friend group politics; when two parties fail to come to an agreement about how a night on the town should play out.

Like in a No Deal Brexit scenario, parties involved in the bar crawl face a severance in relations for the evening, splitting into respective factions. Each must rely on texting outside friends to survive.
Luke wants downtown but Anna says uptown.
Looks like we're headed for a No Deal Bar Crawl.
by nolandc September 12, 2019
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high tea wrinkle

(n) the wrinkle that develops on the forehead when meetings encroach on your afternoon snack break.

So called due to the Victorian England tradition of a late afternoon "high tea" and toast after hours of labor.
Cynthia had developed a high tea wrinkle after our strategy meeting went over by 30 minutes.
by nolandc August 30, 2019
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Fleece Navidaddy

The fictitious love interest that you tell your family about when you come home for the holiday season.

Fleece-wearing, dog-rearing, and law degree-bearing, the Fleece Navidaddy is guaranteed to impress the aunts and uncles.
Mother won’t have a Feliz Navidad unless she hears about your Fleece Navidaddy.
by nolandc December 24, 2019
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