nicholas d's definitions

Noe Valley

A neighborhood in San Francisco bounded roughly by Dolores St. on the east, Diamond Heights Blvd./Market St. on the west, 21st St. on the north, and 30th St. on the south. Lots of shops and restaurants, but not a big nightlife spot since everyone - OK, maybe not everyone, just about 98% of people - have a couple of young kids and a dog. A very yuppie place where people from the Marina neighborhood move to settle down, usually moving on to Marin County when their kids start school. When in Noe Valley, be sure to watch out for the legions of double-wide strollers that will run you over if you're not careful. Pretty much the polar opposite of The Brook in Harrisburg, PA.

Brad: "Well, we're finally moving into our new place in SF! I can't say I love Noe Valley, but at least we're close to some good bars and stuff. I'm at least glad we're still pretty young and not like those boring old yuppies with two kids and a dog."
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"

by Nicholas D July 28, 2012

ice water in the veins

A figurative saying meaning that someone is extremely good in the clutch and very cool under pressure.

Norm: "Well folks, we're here on the 18th hole and Tiger Woods is having a great day, putting his balls pretty much wherever he wants to."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."

by Nicholas D April 22, 2011

sharticle

A microscopic particle of shit that floats in the air

Covidiot: “Dude, why are you wearing your mask in the bathroom, are you afraid of…woooooo…COVID?”
Guy: “No, I just don’t want to breathe in the rank-ass sharticles from the huge messy deuce you just dropped”

by Nicholas D May 4, 2022

put your bid in

To attempt to hook up with a girl. Literally means that all the guys at the bar/club who are interested in the girl will show her what they have to offer, and she will go home the "highest bidder" and probably allow him to chuck it in her.

"I'm tryin' to put my bid in / No I'm just kiddin' / Come on girl, get in."
-Snoop Dogg, "Let's Get Blown"

"I'm a put my bid in and tell you something slick / Whisper in ya ear while I'm holdin' my dick."
-E-40, "U and Dat"

Awkward tool: "Hey there girl. You are one fly-ass bitch if I do say so myself. What do you say we get out of here and go to my place? Skeet skeet!"
Girl: "Fool I'm just here to hang out with my girls. If you're trying to put your bid in, it ain't gonna work."
Awkward tool: "Really? You're taking bids? In that case, how does $100 sound? I'm a little short on cash though - is it ok if I write you a check?"
Girl: "The fuck? Oh no you didn't! I ain't no ho!" ***SMACK!***

by Nicholas D February 11, 2009

jippy

(adj) Pertaining to or characteristic of criminal behavior. Comes from jip, the acronym form of justice-involved person, the new official San Francisco PC term for a convicted felon.

Kid: "Hey dad, I'm heading off to Upgrayedd's house to shoot up hero- I mean study AP Physics. Laters on the menjay!"
Parent: "Ok, sport. I'm happy you found some nicer and more wholesome friends. Your old buddies Poindexter and Eugene always seemed like they were up to no good. Hanging out at the library all the time seemed super jippy. I know kids just go there to smoke drugs."
Kid: "Sure dad, I'll come back after we finish robbing the liq- uh...I mean cramming for that test."
Parent: "Go get 'em, chief."

by Nicholas D September 1, 2019

little dance

A conference tournament in NCAA basketball. This term is used especially for mid-major (non-BCS) teams for whom winning the conference tournament is their only shot at getting into the big dance, i.e. the NCAA tournament. This term was coined by ESPN.

Phil: "LeBron James is awesome man. You know, I could have been that good if I had stuck with the game."
Kevin: "No you couldn't have."
Phil: "Dude! I was a big-time NBA prospect before I injured my knee."
Kevin: "No you weren't."
Phil: "Well, no, but I played in college and made it to the NCAA tournament - the big dance!"
Kevin: "No you didn't."
Phil: "No, but my team did play in the little dance and almost won."
Kevin: "No they didn't."
Phil: "No, but I did play in college."
Kevin: "Nope."
Phil: "I mean high school."
Kevin: "Uh-uh."
Phil: "I mean the 8-year-olds league."
Kevin: "No way."
Phil: "Well ok, but I did play in a pick-up game once and scored 10 points."
Kevin: "No you didn't."
Phil: "Well no. How did you know? Is it because I'm white?"
Kevin: "No, it's because you're a one-armed midget. I hate to say it, but basketball just isn't the game for you."
Phil: "Oh yeah, good point. But if I could grow two feet or so - and another arm - then I'd be 5-foot-3 and could be the next Muggsy Bogues."
Kevin: "Nope, sorry. Not a chance."
Phil: "Well I was a world champion in midget tossing...as the projectile."
Kevin: "Now THAT I believe."

by Nicholas D March 13, 2009

av

Short for avatar, i.e. a computer representation of a person. Cannot be used as a short form for the movie "Avatar."

Lloyd: "Dude, stop making your av crouch over my av's corpse like he's taking a dump on it. That move's getting old."
Harry: "Sorry, not happening. Cleveland steamer comin' right up!"

Lloyd: "Hey man, have you seen 'Av' yet?"
Harry: "What the hell is 'Av'? 'Avenue Q'? Avril Lavigne? 'Alien vs. Predator'?"
Lloyd: "No, 'Avatar' obviously."
Harry: "Sorry dude, as an officer of the grammar police I'm going to have to cite you on that illegal abbreviation. You can pay me the $100 fine anytime."
Lloyd: "What? I don't owe you..."
Harry: (pulls out gun) "Break yo self, fool!"

by Nicholas D September 10, 2011