nicholas d's definitions

run up and squeeze

To approach and shoot somebody.

"I'll run up and squeeze and put a hole in ya." - 50 Cent, "Places to Go"

Manny: "Bitch did you just step on my foot?"
Reggie: "Chill man, it was an accident."
Manny: "Fool oh no you didn't. I'm fin' to spark metal on yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna ride on you, dogg."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna run up and pop you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm fin' to blast my gat on you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna roll up and squeeze and put a hole in ya."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna shoot you!"
Reggie: "Oh ok. I really didn't understand what you were trying to say there. You've been spending too much time on Urban Dictionary. You should cut down on the slang if you want to get your point across effectively."
Manny: "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Now that you mention it, I should make an attempt to use more straightforward language in the future when threatening someone. Thanks for the tip."
Reggie: "No problem. See you later."

by Nicholas D October 1, 2009

fecal festival

A shit show; a crazy situation that gets totally out of control. Synonyms include crap carnival, dump display, excrement expo, and poop parade.

Bonus day at Merrill Lynch turned into a real fecal festival when Bob the subprime mortgage trader got a bad number, which made him so mad that he took a dump in the middle of the trading floor and proceeded to throw balls of excrement at his boss.

by Nicholas D January 19, 2008

the wurst

Extremely high quality (used in reference to a sausage, or a wurst). Synonyms: the best, the shit, the bomb diggity, bomb sausage

John: "This wiener is the wurst!"
Thomas: "No, I think it's the best!"
John: "That's the exact same thing as what I just said."

by Nicholas D September 9, 2018

put your bid in

To attempt to hook up with a girl. Literally means that all the guys at the bar/club who are interested in the girl will show her what they have to offer, and she will go home the "highest bidder" and probably allow him to chuck it in her.

"I'm tryin' to put my bid in / No I'm just kiddin' / Come on girl, get in."
-Snoop Dogg, "Let's Get Blown"

"I'm a put my bid in and tell you something slick / Whisper in ya ear while I'm holdin' my dick."
-E-40, "U and Dat"

Awkward tool: "Hey there girl. You are one fly-ass bitch if I do say so myself. What do you say we get out of here and go to my place? Skeet skeet!"
Girl: "Fool I'm just here to hang out with my girls. If you're trying to put your bid in, it ain't gonna work."
Awkward tool: "Really? You're taking bids? In that case, how does $100 sound? I'm a little short on cash though - is it ok if I write you a check?"
Girl: "The fuck? Oh no you didn't! I ain't no ho!" ***SMACK!***

by Nicholas D February 11, 2009

barleywine

The greatest style of beer ever to grace the earth. Typically clocking in upwards of 8% ABV, this wine-strength beer is the motherlode of malty goodness, and is the preferred style of the highest echelon of cicerone s. There are two sub-styles, American and English, the former of which has more hop flavor and bitterness. As heavy hopping is appropriate in an IPA but destroys the pure heavenly flavor of this glorious beer style, a preference for American barleywine has been linked in scientific studies with brain damages, taste bud disorders, and early onset dementia. "Barleywine" is also generally considered to be a synonym of "life", thus giving rise to the common expression "Barleywine is life", or BiL for short.

Albert Einstein: "I just discovered the special theory of relativity, which Is the biggest breakthrough in theoretical physics in centuries. Also, I prefer American barleywine to English and hazy IPAs to barleywine in general."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."

by Nicholas D August 11, 2018

jippy

(adj) Pertaining to or characteristic of criminal behavior. Comes from jip, the acronym form of justice-involved person, the new official San Francisco PC term for a convicted felon.

Kid: "Hey dad, I'm heading off to Upgrayedd's house to shoot up hero- I mean study AP Physics. Laters on the menjay!"
Parent: "Ok, sport. I'm happy you found some nicer and more wholesome friends. Your old buddies Poindexter and Eugene always seemed like they were up to no good. Hanging out at the library all the time seemed super jippy. I know kids just go there to smoke drugs."
Kid: "Sure dad, I'll come back after we finish robbing the liq- uh...I mean cramming for that test."
Parent: "Go get 'em, chief."

by Nicholas D September 1, 2019

Noe Valley

A neighborhood in San Francisco bounded roughly by Dolores St. on the east, Diamond Heights Blvd./Market St. on the west, 21st St. on the north, and 30th St. on the south. Lots of shops and restaurants, but not a big nightlife spot since everyone - OK, maybe not everyone, just about 98% of people - have a couple of young kids and a dog. A very yuppie place where people from the Marina neighborhood move to settle down, usually moving on to Marin County when their kids start school. When in Noe Valley, be sure to watch out for the legions of double-wide strollers that will run you over if you're not careful. Pretty much the polar opposite of The Brook in Harrisburg, PA.

Brad: "Well, we're finally moving into our new place in SF! I can't say I love Noe Valley, but at least we're close to some good bars and stuff. I'm at least glad we're still pretty young and not like those boring old yuppies with two kids and a dog."
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"

by Nicholas D July 28, 2012