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slap your grandma

A phrase that means that something is so good that you're awestruck by it to the point where you're so disoriented that you might mistakenly slap your grandmother. If someone takes this literally it could at best cause an awkward situation and at worst cause your entire family to fall apart.
"Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma!
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"

Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"
by Nicholas D May 23, 2008
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water-

A prefix analogous to the suffix -gate, denoting a scandal. Derived from the Watergate scandal.
Investigator 1: "Heavens to Betsy!"
Investigator 2: "You didn't seriously just say that. What is it?"
Investigator 1: "From the looks of these financial records, it looks like the mayor embezzled some of the federal grant money he received to build that water gate to protect the town from floods."
Investigator 2: "Really? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle - you're right!"
Investigator 1: "What to call this scandal...I've got it! Because it's a scandal involving a gate, we can add the prefix 'water-' and call it watergate!"
Investigator 2: "No, that's already taken. I think it would be better, since it's a scandal involving water, to add the suffix '-gate' and call it watergate! No, wait, never mind, that's the same thing."
Investigator 1: "Since it's a scandal involving a water gate, let's add the prefix 'water-' and the suffix '-gate' and call it waterwatergategate!"
Investigator 2: "Brilliant! Just rolls right off the tongue."
by Nicholas D December 18, 2011
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wokewash

To shamelessly increase diversity, inclusion, and references to modern-day issues in a story to promote social justice. The opposite of whitewash.
Writer: “I’ve got a movie idea! Let’s do the moon landing, except all the astronauts are morbidly obese paraplegic non-binary Muslim Australian aboriginals!”

Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
by Nicholas D March 1, 2020
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New Jersey Jest

The New York Jets. New Jersey Jest is a more appropriate name for the team because:
1) They play in the Meadowlands a.k.a. Giants Stadium, which is in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Yes, the Jest is so pitiful that they actually play in a stadium named for another NFL team.
2) The team is a joke - or in other words, a jest.

Also called the New York or New Jersey Puddle Jumpers (since "Jets" is a bit of an overstatement given the team's performance).
After Chad Pennington and Kellen Clemens led them to a series of embarrassing losses in 2007, the New Jersey Jest toyed with the idea of bringing back legendary quarterback Joe Namath...at the age of 64.

In Italian, the last name of head coach Eric Mangini is the masculine plural form of "mangina".
by Nicholas D January 6, 2008
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boat

another name for a full house in poker.
"Ace high flush! Pay up, bitch!"
"Not so fast, motherfucker! I've got the boat."
"Damn nigga!"
by Nicholas D October 27, 2003
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nap

To steal or borrow without permission. Comes from "kidnap," which means stealing a kid.
Al Gore: "Governor Bush, you are not going to nap this election!"
George W. Bush: "Oh yes I am. Heh heh heh!"

Girl: "I'm going to run to the ladies' room. Watch my purse while I'm gone."
Guy: "OK."
(Girl goes to restroom, someone steals purse)
Girl: "Where's my purse?"
Guy: "Some sketchy-looking dude came by and purse-napped. Sorry."
Girl: "What? I told you to watch it!"
Guy: "I did. I was watching the entire time the guy was napping it! What did you want me to do, stop him?"
Girl: "Yes!!!"
Guy: "Oh, well you should have said that earlier."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2009
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