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nicholas d's definitions

complete the circuit

To drink while peeing.
(flush)
Phil: "Dude, you were in there forever! Did you just drop a deuce?"
Mike: "No, but I appreciate your interest in my bowel activity. I decided to take my 40 of Bud in there with me and complete the circuit. That shit is just like water - goes right through you. I must have been pissing for a solid 3 minutes without stopping!"
Phil: "Like water? Buttwiper pretty much IS water! Why are you drinking that horse piss instead of this awesome 90 Minute I've got?"
Mike: "Bad economy, man."
by Nicholas D May 8, 2009
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BBMOAT

Chris: Hey, I was trying to think of a name for that large trench I dug around my home and then filled with little metal spherical pellets...
Peter: BBMOAT!
Chris: Thanks, that's a great suggestion!...oh, I was also trying to remember the name of that new jazz/blues guitarist who had named himself after that old guitarist who had a similar style...
Peter: BBMOAT!
Chris: Thanks man! That's right! Oh, do you remember what my stuttering, ebonics-speaking neighbor said to me last year when he suggested that I be a ditch for Halloween?
Peter: BBMOAT!
Chris: Oh yeah! Thanks a lot. Oh, I wanted to apologize for last week when I visited the city that you live in, was there for a week, neglected to call you when I got there even though I had previously said I would, and then when you finally got in touch with me, refused to come hang with me because it was 'too far'.
Peter: Oh yeah...that was a pretty bitch move.
by Nicholas D October 14, 2006
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ghostwood

An episode of erectile dysfunction, specifically when your wood ghosts you.
Mildred: “Heavens to Betsy, Barney, I already took my dentures out and you’ve gone soft on me!”
Barney: "For Pete’s sake, woman, it’s just the old ghostwood again! Let me pop this Viagra and I’ll be rarin’ to go in a jiffy.”
by Nicholas D May 2, 2021
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personperson

The politically correct term for a postal worker. The old offensive term is “mailman” but “mail” is sexist because it sounds like “male” and “man” is obviously sexist to female or non-binary postal workers.
Female postal worker: “I’m here to bring you your 25 annoying unsolicited Capital One offers for the day! Enjoy tossing these straight in the recycling bin.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”
by Nicholas D March 21, 2020
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cum in the fluffer

To mess up completely and utterly; to screw the pooch. Comes from pornstar/influencer/philosopher Aella's 2024 birthday gangbang, where 5 of the 37 guys allowed to have intercourse with Aella came in the fluffer and missed their shot at the birthday girl. A fluffer is an assistant who keeps performers excited on pornography sets to prepare for their scene.
Johnson, if you don't get that TPS report in by end of day you're going to get shitcanned. Step it up and don't cum in the fluffer here.
by Nicholas D March 3, 2024
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bake like a challah and leaven

The uncooked bread got sick of walking around the bakery with all the other delicious, already-cooked breads, so he decided to bake like a challah and leaven.
by Nicholas D June 6, 2004
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turkey bomb

A redneck version of a Jager bomb or car bomb. Involves dropping a shot of Wild Turkey bourbon into Shiner Bock beer.
Judd: "After y'ins had all those turkey bombs last night, Cletus was so hogged up that he passed out in the holler with his face in a cow patty."
Ricky: "Well I'll be darned if that ain't the craziest thing I've heard in a dog's age! Slap your grandma!"
by Nicholas D March 17, 2009
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