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nicholas d's definitions

go wood

To completely and utterly flop. Usually refers to a music album. Whereas successful records can go gold or platinum, this term comes from the fact that wood is a far less valuable material.
"Peckerwood mad cuz his record went wood
No respect in the hood led to his 'Neck of the Woods'
Got in touch with his roots, found the redneck in his blood
And said, 'Heck, country western rap records are good'"
-Eminem, "Quitter" (Everlast diss track)

Tim: "Wassup gangsta!?!?!?"
Bill: "Dude, where'd you get that Porsche?"
Tim: "Oh, I took out a loan from this loan shark in Philly. Cost 45 Gs, mothafucka!"
Bill: "Um, that doesn't sound like a good idea. How are you going to pay for it?"
Tim: "Droppin' my new rap album next month, dogg. It's got some phat beats on it."
Bill: "Rap album? You're a white hick from Hummelstown. Who's going to take that seriously?"
Tim: "Don't make me blast my gat! Haha, just clownin'. Check out this sick beat:
(rapping)'Hummelstown, Hummelstown where we pummels down
Any punk ass mothafucka that come around'
Eminem or Jay-Z couldn't write shit that ill. Next time you see me it's gonna be on the red carpet with fly hoes on each arm."
Bill: "I don't know, man. I think you're going to go wood. You might be cruisin' for a bruisin'."
by Nicholas D August 30, 2012
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will smith

1) A phrase that means one plans to engage in the trade of metal treating in the future
2) Someone who is skilled at writing legal documents regarding the passage of one’s estate after death
3) To bitch slap someone in the way that Chris Rock was slapped at the 2022 Oscars
Apothecary: “So you’re almost done with your apothecary training! Ready to open your own shop in town?”
Apprentice: “Nah dogg apothecarying is boring AF. More like apothe-idontcare-ying. I think I will smith.”
Apothecary: “Shut your mouth, you scoundrel! If you dishonor my trade again, I’ll will smith you so hard you’ll wish you’d hired a will smith!”
by Nicholas D April 11, 2022
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cerione

The rare feat of striking out five times in a baseball game. The term was coined on national TV during the 2008 college world series when Georgia player Matt Cerione accomplished this feat during his team's win over Stanford. Similar to the hat trick (3 strikeouts) and the golden sombrero (4).
Pete really pulled a cerione with the ladies last night at the party. When he got home his shirt was covered in spilled cosmos and his face was red from all the slaps.

Timmy's parents couldn't show their faces in public after their son racked up three ceriones and five golden sombreros over the little league season.
by Nicholas D June 22, 2008
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water-

A prefix analogous to the suffix -gate, denoting a scandal. Derived from the Watergate scandal.
Investigator 1: "Heavens to Betsy!"
Investigator 2: "You didn't seriously just say that. What is it?"
Investigator 1: "From the looks of these financial records, it looks like the mayor embezzled some of the federal grant money he received to build that water gate to protect the town from floods."
Investigator 2: "Really? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle - you're right!"
Investigator 1: "What to call this scandal...I've got it! Because it's a scandal involving a gate, we can add the prefix 'water-' and call it watergate!"
Investigator 2: "No, that's already taken. I think it would be better, since it's a scandal involving water, to add the suffix '-gate' and call it watergate! No, wait, never mind, that's the same thing."
Investigator 1: "Since it's a scandal involving a water gate, let's add the prefix 'water-' and the suffix '-gate' and call it waterwatergategate!"
Investigator 2: "Brilliant! Just rolls right off the tongue."
by Nicholas D December 18, 2011
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limpies

The Uzbekistani horse dancer fractured his pelvis in an accident during the limpies, and since then he's had a major case of the limpies.
by Nicholas D July 29, 2021
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freedom beer

A patriotic American term for après ski drinks, meant to show disdain for the French. Used by the same people who say freedom fries, pardon my freedom, freedom toast, and freedom mistake. Means a beer consumed after a day of skiing or snowboarding.
Pierre: "After we finish ze ski-ing, what do you say we all go grab an apres ski glass of ze Bordeaux?"
Katie: "That sounds great, Pierre."
Bob: "What?!? How dare you, you French sympathizer?!? Let's ditch this surrender monkey and go grab a freedom beer. I've got a whole case of 90 Minute back at my place with your name on it. Brewed in the good ol' USA. Screw France!"
Katie: "Ok, good point. I'll go with you instead. Sorry, Frenchy."
by Nicholas D December 29, 2009
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Uncle Ralph

A figurative relative who comes to visit when you vomit. Similar to Aunt Flo.
DeSean: "How did last night go? Did you get it on with LaShawna?"
LeSean: "Nah man, hit the booze too hard and ended up getting a visit from Uncle Ralph."

Sean: "Dude, did you read Ralph Waldo Emerson's classic 'The American Scholar'? That shit is monkey-fighting LEGIT! In da hizzouse!"
Shawn: "Psssht! More like Uncle Ralph Waldo Emerson! That guy was a total clown. I don't think I could get through a paragraph of his writing without losing my lunch. I'm more a fan of some of the modern-day philosophers like Rebecca Black, who tackles more relevant issues like which seat is best to occupy in a vehicle, or Aaron Carter, who explores the division of dreams and reality in his great work 'That's How I Beat Shaq.'"
Sean: "Dude. No."
by Nicholas D November 9, 2011
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