nicholas d's definitions

ghostwood

An episode of erectile dysfunction, specifically when your wood ghosts you.

Mildred: “Heavens to Betsy, Barney, I already took my dentures out and you’ve gone soft on me!”
Barney: "For Pete’s sake, woman, it’s just the old ghostwood again! Let me pop this Viagra and I’ll be rarin’ to go in a jiffy.”

by Nicholas D May 2, 2021

turkey bomb

A redneck version of a Jager bomb or car bomb. Involves dropping a shot of Wild Turkey bourbon into Shiner Bock beer.

Judd: "After y'ins had all those turkey bombs last night, Cletus was so hogged up that he passed out in the holler with his face in a cow patty."
Ricky: "Well I'll be darned if that ain't the craziest thing I've heard in a dog's age! Slap your grandma!"

by Nicholas D March 17, 2009

cum in the fluffer

To mess up completely and utterly; to screw the pooch. Comes from pornstar/influencer/philosopher Aella's 2024 birthday gangbang, where 5 of the 37 guys allowed to have intercourse with Aella came in the fluffer and missed their shot at the birthday girl. A fluffer is an assistant who keeps performers excited on pornography sets to prepare for their scene.

Johnson, if you don't get that TPS report in by end of day you're going to get shitcanned. Step it up and don't cum in the fluffer here.

by Nicholas D March 3, 2024

bake like a challah and leaven

to leave your current location

The uncooked bread got sick of walking around the bakery with all the other delicious, already-cooked breads, so he decided to bake like a challah and leaven.

by Nicholas D June 6, 2004

More head!

The rally cry of Morehead State University. Made famous during the 2009 NCAA basketball tournament (March Madness), when Morehead State was assigned to play Alabama State in the play-in game. Does not have anything to do with the "oral sex" definition of head.

(during Morehead St. vs. Alabama St. game)
Guy: "More head! More head! More head!"
Girlfriend: "What? Is once a week or so not enough for you? I can go down on you more if you want."
Guy: "What? I was just rooting for the team. Oh, you thought I meant it in that way? Well, now that you mention it...awwwww right!"

by Nicholas D March 17, 2009

shattuck

1) When you tuck your shirt back into your pants after just having shat (taken a shit).
2) One of the main streets in Berkeley, CA.

Buddy: "Isn't it weird how Berkeley named its main street after the act of rearranging your clothing after taking a shit?"
Guy: "Not weird at all. When you walk down the street you're guaranteed to see at least one bum pooping out in the open, so seeing a shattuck is pretty common on Shattuck Ave."

by Nicholas D October 14, 2019

What do we have for 'em, Johnny?

A sarcastic comment that is used when someone figures out something really obvious. An imitation of a game show host announcing that someone has given the correct answer and has won a prize that his assistant (Johnny) will specify on cue. Often preceded by "Ding ding!"

Boss: "OK everyone, Brenda Smith is going to be out on Thursday so we need someone to volunteer to fill her time slot."
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"

by Nicholas D February 20, 2009