Definitions by nicholas d
What do we have for 'em, Johnny?
A sarcastic comment that is used when someone figures out something really obvious. An imitation of a game show host announcing that someone has given the correct answer and has won a prize that his assistant (Johnny) will specify on cue. Often preceded by "Ding ding!"
Boss: "OK everyone, Brenda Smith is going to be out on Thursday so we need someone to volunteer to fill her time slot."
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"
What do we have for 'em, Johnny? by Nicholas D February 20, 2009
put a ring on it
"If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it."
-Beyonce, "Single Ladies"
Marty: "Dude, let's hit up Big Al's tonight."
Brad: "Why, what's going on?"
Marty: "2-for-1 lapdances and $3 Jager bombs, dude."
Brad: "Jager bombs? I fuckin' shower in that shit!"
Both together (imitating "My New Haircut" scene and pointing in different directions): "Jager bombs! Jager bombs! Jager bombs!"
Brad: "I can't do it, broski. It's my 4 year anniversary with Stacy. I gotta take her somewhere nice, like Applebee's or some shit."
Marty: "Damn dogg, you're still hittin' that? You fin' to put a ring on it?"
Brad: "Hell no! I'm just in it cuz she's got a nice rack, a big ol' ass, and she's crazy in the sack."
Marty: "Don't worry bro, whenever you dump that shit and get back in the game the hos will be lining up. Bitches love nice, sensitive guys like us."
Brad: "Word."
-Beyonce, "Single Ladies"
Marty: "Dude, let's hit up Big Al's tonight."
Brad: "Why, what's going on?"
Marty: "2-for-1 lapdances and $3 Jager bombs, dude."
Brad: "Jager bombs? I fuckin' shower in that shit!"
Both together (imitating "My New Haircut" scene and pointing in different directions): "Jager bombs! Jager bombs! Jager bombs!"
Brad: "I can't do it, broski. It's my 4 year anniversary with Stacy. I gotta take her somewhere nice, like Applebee's or some shit."
Marty: "Damn dogg, you're still hittin' that? You fin' to put a ring on it?"
Brad: "Hell no! I'm just in it cuz she's got a nice rack, a big ol' ass, and she's crazy in the sack."
Marty: "Don't worry bro, whenever you dump that shit and get back in the game the hos will be lining up. Bitches love nice, sensitive guys like us."
Brad: "Word."
put a ring on it by Nicholas D February 20, 2009
twan
Someone who is washed up, has gone soft, and no longer commands respect in the hood. From Ice Cube's song "Check Yo Self."
"You're gone, used to be the Don Juan, now your name is just Twan."
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Carlos: "Whats up dogg, long time since you been back in the hood."
Tony: "For real. What's going on with J.D. these days? That dude used to run shit around here."
Carlos: "Fool has gone soft. Now he ain't nothin' but a twan. He settled down with some bitch and she's got him whipped. I saw him last week walking her weak-ass chihuahua around the block, cleaning up its shit and shit. Then I saw him with that ho the other day going into the movies to watch 'Confessions of a Shopaholic.'"
Tony: "Man that is some mark-ass shit! We gotta straighten that twan-ass bitch out. Let's ride on that fool."
Carlos: "Word."
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Carlos: "Whats up dogg, long time since you been back in the hood."
Tony: "For real. What's going on with J.D. these days? That dude used to run shit around here."
Carlos: "Fool has gone soft. Now he ain't nothin' but a twan. He settled down with some bitch and she's got him whipped. I saw him last week walking her weak-ass chihuahua around the block, cleaning up its shit and shit. Then I saw him with that ho the other day going into the movies to watch 'Confessions of a Shopaholic.'"
Tony: "Man that is some mark-ass shit! We gotta straighten that twan-ass bitch out. Let's ride on that fool."
Carlos: "Word."
twan by Nicholas D February 18, 2009
check yo self
To reevaluate your actions after realizing that your current course of action is likely to lead you into a troublesome situation. From Ice Cube's song "Check Yo Self."
See also: check yo self before you wreck yo self
See also: check yo self before you wreck yo self
Phineas: "The derivative of the hyperbolic arctangent of x is one over the quantity one minus x squared. Booyah, who's the man!"
Isaac: "Whatever. Your math skills are mediocre at best. I bet you couldn't even prove the Pythagorean theorem with a compass and a straightedge."
Phineas: "I believe those are fighting words. Let's take this outside. I'm going to slap you silly with my pocket protector!"
Isaac: "I suggest you check yo self before you wreck yo self. I've got three of my chess club buddies backing me up and one of them takes taekwondo!"
Isaac: "Whatever. Your math skills are mediocre at best. I bet you couldn't even prove the Pythagorean theorem with a compass and a straightedge."
Phineas: "I believe those are fighting words. Let's take this outside. I'm going to slap you silly with my pocket protector!"
Isaac: "I suggest you check yo self before you wreck yo self. I've got three of my chess club buddies backing me up and one of them takes taekwondo!"
check yo self by Nicholas D February 18, 2009
ride on
Cornelius: "Dwight sure acted inappropriately at last night's party."
Jose: "For real? What did that motherfucker do, playa?"
Cornelius: "Well, when I was in the other room refilling my apple juice, I believe that he attempted to make sexual advances toward my lady friend."
Jose: "That's just fucked up."
Cornelius: "It is indeed. I must take retaliatory action of some sort."
Jose: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle. Let's ride on that fool, dogg."
Cornelius: "I concur that doing so would be the most appropriate course of action at this time."
Jose: "For real? What did that motherfucker do, playa?"
Cornelius: "Well, when I was in the other room refilling my apple juice, I believe that he attempted to make sexual advances toward my lady friend."
Jose: "That's just fucked up."
Cornelius: "It is indeed. I must take retaliatory action of some sort."
Jose: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle. Let's ride on that fool, dogg."
Cornelius: "I concur that doing so would be the most appropriate course of action at this time."
ride on by Nicholas D February 18, 2009
elbow rule
A common rule in the game/sport known as beirut or beer pong (without paddles) which states that the shooter's elbow must remain behind an imaginary plane extending upwards from the end of the table at all times throughout the throwing motion.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
Frat boy #1: "Oh man I just saw the World Series of Beer Pong IV championship video and they don't even have an elbow rule. The guys that won, Smashing Time, were basically leaning all the way over the table and dropping the ball into the cup. This game is so easy without an elbow rule! I could make every shot!"
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
elbow rule by Nicholas D February 13, 2009
WSOBP
An acronym for the World Series of Beer Pong, the world's largest beer pong/beirut tournament, held in Las Vegas in January of every year. WSOBP I was held in January 2006 and WSOBP V is planned for January 2010. WSOBP IV in 2009 attracted over 400 teams and several C-list celebrities.
While some amateurs lament the short tables, clear cups, non-standard rules, use of water in some cups, and lack of an elbow rule at this event, the best teams in the world generally take the rules as they are and show up every year with the hopes of being crowned world champions and winning the cash prize, which was $10,000 at WSOBP I, $20,000 at WSOBP II, and $50,000 ever since.
While some amateurs lament the short tables, clear cups, non-standard rules, use of water in some cups, and lack of an elbow rule at this event, the best teams in the world generally take the rules as they are and show up every year with the hopes of being crowned world champions and winning the cash prize, which was $10,000 at WSOBP I, $20,000 at WSOBP II, and $50,000 ever since.
Frat beirut champ: "Chauffeuring the Fat Kid won WSOBP III, but I saw the video on YouTube and they lean way across the table. Leaning is so weak. I would kick their asses in a game with an elbow rule."
WSOBP player: "No you wouldn't. They're much better than you on any table with any rules. If you play them, let me know, because I've got $100 that says they sink your last cup before you even get to your first re-rack."
WSOBP player: "No you wouldn't. They're much better than you on any table with any rules. If you play them, let me know, because I've got $100 that says they sink your last cup before you even get to your first re-rack."
WSOBP by Nicholas D February 13, 2009