Definitions by natalie portmanteaux
funanigans
Honeybee: “Ugh, it's so cold in here, my fingers feel like a pack of frozen hot dogs. Oh, no, now I want to eat my fingers. Ooh, why don't we wait in that place over there?”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Okay, fine, but I'm warning you, I bet this place is a total anus.”
Honeybee: “Yeah, but it looks like a warm anus that's probably full of artichoke dip, so let's roll.”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Okay, fine, but I'm warning you, I bet this place is a total anus.”
Honeybee: “Yeah, but it looks like a warm anus that's probably full of artichoke dip, so let's roll.”
funanigans by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2024
plane-arita
(phone vibrates)
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
plane-arita by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2024
abso-slut-ly
Judy: “The thing is, Alanis, it's Spring. That time of yea when I should be getting my Jude groove on. You know, lovin' and leavin', kissin' and quittin', first base and then get out of my face.”
Alanis: “I get it. You should be making out under the dock. Staying out until 10 o'clock.”
Judy: “Abso-slut-ly I should, but I am currently in a wasteland of no boy-related excitement.”
Alanis: “I get it. You should be making out under the dock. Staying out until 10 o'clock.”
Judy: “Abso-slut-ly I should, but I am currently in a wasteland of no boy-related excitement.”
abso-slut-ly by natalie portmanteaux September 21, 2024
funanigans
Honeybee: “Ugh, it's so cold in here, my fingers feel like a pack of frozen hot dogs. Oh, no, now I want to eat my fingers. Ooh, why don't we wait in that place over there?”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
funanigans by natalie portmanteaux September 21, 2024
scrumplicious
Terry: "Someone's putting chemicals in their food and iit's messing with our bodies. Like, have you felt really horny and really sterile lately?"
Korvo: "They genetically modified the cows on Earth. That's not a conspiracy. It's just the soulless pillage of a living creature's dignity."
Terry: "I'm seeing all the twisted threads here. The only part I'm missing is, you know, the bigger thread that connects them. But I'm close to uncovering it. B-T dubs, Jess, whatever you're making smells scrumplicious."
Jesse: "Thank you, Chef!"
Korvo: "They genetically modified the cows on Earth. That's not a conspiracy. It's just the soulless pillage of a living creature's dignity."
Terry: "I'm seeing all the twisted threads here. The only part I'm missing is, you know, the bigger thread that connects them. But I'm close to uncovering it. B-T dubs, Jess, whatever you're making smells scrumplicious."
Jesse: "Thank you, Chef!"
scrumplicious by natalie portmanteaux August 29, 2024
wet-getables
Beef: "Vegetables should not be delicious. If you don't like dry broccoli, just try it wet."
Honeybee: "Like, soaked in water?"
Beef: "Yes."
Guy: "What are you talking about, man? Nobody wants wet-getables."
Honeybee: "Like, soaked in water?"
Beef: "Yes."
Guy: "What are you talking about, man? Nobody wants wet-getables."
wet-getables by natalie portmanteaux August 24, 2024
waffsicle
Linda: "Tina, you're missing breakfast. Your frozen waffles are gonna refreeze."
Louise: "Mine is somehow burnt and frozen? It defies science."
Gene: "I love Mom's waffsicles."
Tina: "I'll have to take my waffsicles to go. Dad and I have a meeting. Right, Dad?"
Louise: "Mine is somehow burnt and frozen? It defies science."
Gene: "I love Mom's waffsicles."
Tina: "I'll have to take my waffsicles to go. Dad and I have a meeting. Right, Dad?"
waffsicle by natalie portmanteaux November 13, 2023