mr. softey's definitions

cornbread

Money a prostitute makes from performing anal sex acts, as in getting cornholed.

whore #1: I don't think I can sit down after what that last John did to me!

whore#2: Whatchoo gonna do 'bout it?

whore#1: Child, I'm taking this cornbread and getting me some Tucks.

whore#2: Shee-oot!

by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009

spankathon

A marathon masturbation session.

Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

Wake Up Ball

Interrupting a loved one's slumber with the sudden placement of one's testicles into their mouth.

A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.

"There's nothing quite like a saggy-scrotumed Wake Up Ball to start the day off right!"

"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"

"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Pop Shoppe

A metaphor for anal sex.

"If Janelle has a few more Cosmos, I might be going to the 'ol Pop Shoppe later."

"No honeymoon is complete without a trip to the Pop Shoppe."

"It's my birthday and I pray to god the Pop Shoppe is open tonight!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Biscuit Train

The opposite of a gravy train job where you do nothing all day, a biscuit train usually requires full effort.

"I'm gettin' too old to be riding this biscuit train everyday!"

I'm dead tired from riding the biscuit train all day.

"Suck it up boys! We're on a biscuit train with gravy wheels!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009