mr. softey's definitions

Johnny Redchips

A card player who has amassed a large collection of, mostly red poker chips. Since reds are the lowest valued chip, it makes you look like you have a lot of money when you really don't.

"Another massive three dollar pot taken down by Johnny Redchips!"

"Can anybody break a five? Johnny Redchips is cashing out."

"You see my dollar and raise me a quarter? Why, that's too rich for my blood, Johnny Redchips!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Jean-Claude God Damn

An exclamation one yells out when, upon turning on the telly, you are unpleasantly surprised by the presence of a horrid Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

"Jean-Claude God Damn! I give one lousy thumbs up to a Chuck Norris flick, and now my Tivo is infested with this asshole!"

"Jean-Claude God Damn! If they rerun Timecop one more time I'm going on a killing spree"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

spankathon

A marathon masturbation session.

Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

Wake Up Ball

Interrupting a loved one's slumber with the sudden placement of one's testicles into their mouth.

A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.

"There's nothing quite like a saggy-scrotumed Wake Up Ball to start the day off right!"

"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"

"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Pop Shoppe

A metaphor for anal sex.

"If Janelle has a few more Cosmos, I might be going to the 'ol Pop Shoppe later."

"No honeymoon is complete without a trip to the Pop Shoppe."

"It's my birthday and I pray to god the Pop Shoppe is open tonight!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009