Martin

Someone who wants to be a therapist, not to read people, but to be the fixer in the relationship.

Oh, I’ve talked to Martin.

And?

I just wanted to talk!

by minutemade002 December 24, 2023

Dean

an old man who has a wife but rather assault little girls in their sleep

I was sleeping safely in my bed, but Dean, so deluded about how he can make a little girl feel, decided to touch me without permission.

by minutemade002 April 28, 2024

Martin

a cow that might be pregnant

She looks a little fat.

Oh, yeah, Martin? She’s a glutton.

Someone should check her for a calf.

I hate doing that.

Well, that’s why I said “someone.”

by minutemade002 December 24, 2023

Martin

God’s favorite child. He’s so unusual that his motivations and desires, while he might express them through seemingly negligent opinions, evade your awareness. He sees the situations that he desires in anything. He sees his dreams coming to life. He almost ignores reality, because he knows God would never hurt his confidence. God rather let everyone suffer at the hands of his delusions than help him to realize anything. His utter oblivion feeds his creativity, and that’s his divine purpose.

Kid in Sunday School: Who is God’s favorite?

Teacher: God doesn’t have favorites.

Other kid: Yes, he does! Martin’s his favorite.

by minutemade002 December 24, 2023

Martin

He’s a bad lawyer. If you ever get in a sticky situation, he’ll have you locked up. He’ll have you locked up as your private defensive attorney. He can’t argue for shit. He can’t use anything but his own ignorance as leverage. He’ll make you realize that all the times you were worried about the charges against you, you should’ve been worried about him. He’ll be a bigger problem than the case itself. He’s someone who should have his license revoked. You can’t tell if he doesn’t care about the case or he’s trying to get you indicted, but he wants you to worship him as your savior, because the only reason he became a lawyer is to dream about the impact he’s had on another person’s life, so much so that he forgets about the job in between.

Who’s your lawyer?

Martin.

Aw, shit. You’re fucked.

by minutemade002 December 24, 2023

Alex

someone who doesn't think he can do wrong and continues down every path that hurts you because his mommy said he’s a good guy

I told Alex he hurt me, and the next day he argued about how he’s a good guy and I should trust him (and his disgusting behavior).

by minutemade002 April 28, 2024

Martin

a retard

Oh, wow. That boy seems like he’s special. He must be Martin.

by minutemade002 December 15, 2023