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mickey darling's definitions

Kryptonite

a lethal mix of viagra and cocaine used by men during devious sexual acts for the purpose of trying to escape a mid-life crisis post tramatic limp syndrome and usually end up dying, shaming their families for life.
did you hear what happened to John this weekend?
he died in a motel 6 from using kryptonite on a water buffalo .
by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009
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Professor Falken

a devious sexual act with an underage girl where you go through various positions of the kama sutra at the command of your computer and try not to cum too fast by looking at her hypnotic braces.
Boxhead 1 : dude, i totally did the Professor Falken with that hottie in high school last nite.

Boxhead 2 : totally???

Boxhead 1 : totally!!!
by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009
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limpdozer

a steroid freak that thinks he's a sexual bulldozing stud and can't get past his own ego to realize he's a limp dick trying to fuck

a top notch bitch.
i heard that douchebag limpdozer Lou Ferrigno couldn't get it up for Liv Tyler and turned green on the set when Ed Norton found out and started laughing.
by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009
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space ghosting

is when you sneak into a couples house and paralyze the woman with pleasure while her boyfriend/husband gets up to take a piss or eat a sandwich and disappear before he returns.

space ghosting is only recommended to the elite of all sexual maneuvers and one must be very comfortable with his master craft of all kama sutra techniques.
Master Splinter : young grasshopper, you have fully mastered all the kama sutra movements are now prepared for the space ghosting challenge, go now and return quickly in the moaning.
by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009
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stitching quilts

permanent brain damage that occurs from too much drug abuse and leaves you so fucked up that you appear to be in a perpetual state of stitching quilts.
what's wrong with Bryan?

homie fried his brains so much on that shit that he just sits on the porch stitching quilts with his grandma while she be

straddling the fence.
by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009
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do you mind?

an expression used by geeks and nerds when inquiring on each others telepathetic powers.
Micah : do you mind?

Prox : yes, i have the most amazing telepathetic powers evar!
by Mickey Darling August 5, 2009
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police scanner

a method used by a close associate of a rock band that uses this to find the most desirable groupies he can see and baits them into the backstage waiting room while the band takes care of business on stage...

sadly the groupies find out after hours of waiting that the band members have just played a horrible practical joke on them and are already partying back at the hotel.
we use the best police scanners on our tour to keep up the band's moral.
by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009
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