Skip to main content

michael foolsley's definitions

sucklingly close

TOO close for comfort! -close enough to get ones' lips on!
my dentist's new hygienist got sucklingly close to my face with her huge bazooms, giving me the spermers' BA-LEWS!!

his crank was sucklingly close to his/her lips!!

the statuesque human came sucklingly close to the DNA prisoner!
by michael foolsley September 3, 2011
mugGet the sucklingly close mug.

edibility

degree of measurement by which a human (and their sex parts!!) becomes a 'FOOD ITEM'!!

i.e. pure ORAL FIXATION!!, SWEET ENOUGH TO EAT!!
shes'/hes' got a high degree of edibility!! one doesn't make a 'mess' in/on that; one EATS THAT!!

she wanted a dosage of my 'hot sauce', but had such a high degree of edibility; i could only think FOOD!!
by michael foolsley September 3, 2011
mugGet the edibility mug.

ungoverned sex

masturbation; i.e. politically and monetarily unaffected sexual act!!

-sex unaffected by male/female (or otherwise!)
personal, physical or societal attitudes, 'laws', flaws, skills, capabilities or 'clause' (not to mention MONEY!!)
he finished 'negotiations' with himself, and soon was having ungoverned sex!!

buying her dinner, then experiencing 'political struggles' re: sex, john just gave up; and went home for some ungoverned sex

she had ungoverned sex with herself, no prophos, no birth control, no politics, no bullshit; -just simple ungoverned sex!!
by michael foolsley September 3, 2011
mugGet the ungoverned sex mug.

Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem

(advert-manipulation); commonly found in modern advertising alluding to male worship of beer even superseding a "piece of pie" (vaginal orifice) OR, replacing the deity!

the concept of the ultimate form of worship being a beer and the "big game", as opposed to jettisoning of male DNA in the vaginal canal, i.e. -SUPREME POTENTATE!!

COME ON FOLKS!, BEER NOT THAT! GOOD!!

(NEVER MIND!! LETS' ALL GET 'SLOPPY' AND 'STUPID'!!)
how 'BOUT 'dose YANKEE fans??
big bull went to HELL!! for DARING to 'stink' on alcohol, via his Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

the 'girls' felt powerless, when confronting the Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

Beer-as-'Jesus' theorem unaccepted! in MY 'house of worship'!
by michael foolsley September 5, 2011
mugGet the Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem mug.

loss of precision

after effects of the alcohol abuser, poor inability to 'censor', or 'control' ones' actions/spoken word with little 'reasonable' sensibility. -consequently careening straight into verbal or physical collision..........

DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY WHEN USING THIS MEDICATION!!
dan scared the sorority girls when he climbed on top of the car at 65mph, they quickly became attuned to his lack of precision.

after downing half a bottle of 'jack', laura drooled all over him, coming on strong; jack noted her loss of precision proceeding to CRACK THAT CROTCH!!

jay lost his usually fine precision, upon chug-a-lugging too much 'cohol!!
by michael foolsley September 5, 2011
mugGet the loss of precision mug.

nikita bags

soft filmy plastic shopping bags (aka; urban tumbleweeds)

here is one sure to be rejected, because it requires a bit of imagination!...

having developed a rigid system of 'control' for my rapidly growing collection of plastic shopping bags due to being terrified of being buried (AND suffocated!) under them, i 'hearkened' back to the 1950s'; where russian premier nikita kruschev once stated: "WE WILL BURY YOU"!!, referring to the russian/american situation. -ALMOST about as scary as amassing these bags and having them 'float' anywhere and everywhere!!
john had to get control of his nikita bags, he couldn't have one landing on top of the baby's HEAD!

the nikita bag got caught on john's corvette tailpipe and proceeded to melt and stink!

jim, the marine biologist reached into the tortoises' throat and pulled out a nikita bag

the guy who wrote the definition of nikita bags needs one held over his head for a few minutes!!
by michael foolsley September 6, 2011
mugGet the nikita bags mug.

beat the crack

arising well BEFORE dawn!!

NOT a sado-masochistic term alluding to abuse of 'prime parts'
but a reference to being 'awake and vertical' LONG BEFORE the first glint of light appears at the horizon!!
i had to beat the crack to do electrical work, which resulted in me "sleeping in" till 6:30A on week-ends!!

had to beat the crack to catch that flight!!

beating the crack is kind of a criminal situation!!
by michael foolsley September 7, 2011
mugGet the beat the crack mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email