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michael foolsley's definitions

get a new brain

dissatisfaction with ones' own, or anothers mental performance. -suggestion that in this time of 'transplants', one could procure a new 'mind' somewhere, and make out a bit better!
when i closed the patient up, i left a saw inside; i'm going to have to get a new brain, or lay off the PCP!!

-going to hit a yard sale and get me a new mind!

she needs to get a new brain!!

-this brain won't 'hop' when i bark orders, i need to get a new brain!
by michael foolsley February 6, 2010
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jersey the toilet

a one finger salute from a marylander who spent five years living in new jersey. nothing (and/or no one) takes more undeserved abuse than new jersey!! -i found many, many, beautiful places and great people!, -very few guidos!! folks were largely really nice to me!! -let me cordially invite those who think jersey is a shit-hole, to go have sex with themselves!!
rolled down RT95 and saw a shit-pit, jersey the toilet!

lets' cut a flop on jersey, yeah! jersey the toilet!

very few things piss me off like people ragging on new

jersey...yeah!, we'll FUCK YOU! jersey the toilet!!
by michael foolsley December 10, 2009
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god of sex

the imaginary god who grants you a 'taste' at his/her/its' leisure. -what remains in the background chuckling to itself whether you 'strike big' or not. if you are/were a good little 'person' perhaps the god of sex will grant YOU a 'taste'!!
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jen, i saw you with muscles mcfoolsley last night? did you get a treatment...-yes, thanks to the god of sex!!!

the god of sex greenlit me with rosanna last night, i almost 'tacked out on that!!!!
by michael foolsley November 30, 2009
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mammarian follower

aficionado of the female breast, lover of 'tits, etc
that ho-hum looking redhead hooked duane with her large chest, duane was a mammarian follower!!

if it had a large chest, steve would be hooked!, he was a mammarian follower...!
by michael foolsley February 11, 2010
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prophet of doom

the one friend you have who can always be counted upon to apply some 'stink' to a situation, "rain on your parade" or otherwise foretell what is going to go wrong! -i.e.: a 'bummer', mr./ms. NEGATIVITY!!
john is the prophet of doom, he was constantly worried about the police during the 'rave-up'!

during the "drug deal", ace impulsively served as the prophet of doom!

THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING! said the sign of the 'born-again' ex king 'coholer (drunk) -yeah! hes' the prophet of doom!
by michael foolsley February 8, 2012
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put the hammer

apply heavy, weighted vigorous force, such as the sex act (but not always specific to same) getting a "heavy" task done with VIGOR!
he put the hammer to her , soon ; they were satisfied!
she put the hammer to him!
they put the hammer to jim's moving day, soon wrapping things up!
they "churned and burned," and put the hammer to each other !
by michael foolsley January 29, 2021
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colt retirement

concept of 'taking oneself out' after about age 50+ -after the mind (& body) becomes 'enfeebled'.

(lots of valid evidence of aging "quality of life" may be found in any "nursing" facility)

in these days of people losing all their retirement money, even if you're still lucky enough to maintain your 'gear', how good can quality of life be when you're eating beans and gruel?

the women are a bit luckier too, most have little use for sex. the males, however aren't so lucky; we get to go to the bitter end, burning in hell for sex......-though it DOES taper off a bit!!

any gun manufacturer will work, ie: glock retirement, etc...
i'm planning a nice smith & wesson retirement!

he got worn out trying to smile, and opted for a colt retirement
by michael foolsley January 16, 2011
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