lajopi 292's definitions

Dive Trash

Folks employed in the industry who live a hedonistic and fun loving lifetsyle who's nights are full of trashy antics, drunken shenanigans and wild fornicating, but by day appear top be respectable dive instructors. Usially a dive master or instructor.

Tourist "I've paid $5000 dollars for a week in cayman, and there's an unconscious drunkard laying naked on my balcony"

Concierge "apologies ma'am, that'll be some dive trash"

by Lajopi 292 October 12, 2008

LOB

UK Police abbreviation meaning 'Load Of Bollocks' which can be used in front of the public without causing offence.

"Cancel that back up, this pub fight is an LOB"

by Lajopi 292 December 4, 2007

Mod Plod

Ministry of Defence Police officer

Do you remember the Mod Plod beating those peace protestors at Greenham Common? Good work fellas...

by lajopi 292 August 13, 2007

Dive Master

By day a polite and responsible respectable dive instructor, usually found somewhere in a tropical climate teaching tourists to dive in a safe and responsible manner, by night a drunk womanising chain smoking inhabitant of any given beach bar, destined for kidney dialysis in later life. Cayman Island divemasters are reputed to be the most outlandish

"did you see that guy fighting and vomiting at the same time in the bar last night? I think he was a Dive Master"

by lajopi 292 August 11, 2007

Nevada Spike Shooter

A hopefully mythical sexual act/prank where an unsuspecting tourist is flown from Vegas into the desert aboard a pink helicopter then forced to sit astride a cactus with their bare bottoms. Footage of such incidents may later appear on the internet. Also known as 'Sugdens Delight'

"Hey dude I haven't seen you sit down since Dawson's stag night"

"Yeah, we went to vegas and I got drunk and did the Nevada Spike Shooter, they operate next week"

by lajopi 292 February 14, 2009

Getting off at Fratton

British Royal Navy term for the withdrawal method of contraception, Fratton being the last railway station before arriving in Portsmouth, which is the end of the line.

Matelot 1: "Firkin 'ell mate, that's a right swamp donkey you've pulled, do you need a condom"

Matelot 2: "no mate, I'm getting off at Fratton"

by Lajopi 292 October 12, 2008

Wren

Something sailors in the Royal Navy have sex with, if they're too lazy to wank

I woke up with a Wren this morning, she looked like meatloaf. Ug.

by lajopi 292 August 10, 2007