10 definition by jfburke619

Top Definition
Someone whose intellectual capacity is limited to brain stem functions. Usually results in very short-sighted and selfish decisions.
"I feel bad for Bob, his life is one problem after another"

"Face it, he is a stemmie. He could not make a good decision to save his life."
by jfburke619 May 02, 2012

Mug icon
Buy a Stemmie mug!
Overly fancy Mexican fusion cuisine. Often found in high end neighborhoods of big cities
Him - How about Mexican tonight?
Her - We could eat at La Perla...
Him - Fuck that, no self respecting caballero would eat a lobster and prime rib burrito - that shit is faux mex.
Her - Then we should head to La Cantina for a bucket of Pacifico and beef and bean burritos.
Him - Nice call.
by jfburke619 October 12, 2012

Mug icon
Buy a Faux Mex mug!
The shopping mall where the ardent consumers go to worship their god... material goods.
Bob - you watching the game today?
Bill - no can do, the missus is going shopping so I will be living in exile at the temple of consumption.
Bob - sorry to hear it... we will have fun without you.
by jfburke619 December 15, 2013

Mug icon
Buy a temple of consumption mug!
Type A personalities are driven. Type D personalities are driven to be difficult (or dick-ish). They go out of their way to make others lives difficult.
Mary "Why did Bob soak the pacifier in vinegar?"
Betty "No good reason... he is a pure type D personality."
by jfburke619 August 21, 2018

Mug icon
Buy a Type D Personality mug!
FOFA is short for 'festival of fucking around'. Is used when there is excessive stupidity around relatively simple tasks resulting more responsible parties having to wait for the idiots in the room to settle down.
Bob - I thought that you and the missus were going grocery shopping?
Jim - We were but first she could not find her keys, then she spilled coffee on her blouse and then the dog ran away...
Bob - Sounds like a non-stop festival of fucking around.
Jim - Pure FOFA, 24/7.
by jfburke619 April 25, 2016

Mug icon
Buy a fofa mug!
This is when you cut your own hair for whatever reason. Cutting your own hair is more common now that we are all social distancing. The resulting product often leaves something to be desired when compared to a professional haircut.
Bob: Did you see Fred's haircut? It looks like someone missed a spot in the back.
Jeff: Obvious autoesthetic exercise on his part.
Bob: It looks like he got that haircut in prison.

Bill: I really miss my barber and professional haircuts.
Jane: Why so?
Bill: When I do an autoesthetic exercise, the top and sides are easy but the back of my head and neck are iffy.

Jane: You are right... your neck looks like you have a built in scarf.
by jfburke619 March 30, 2021

Mug icon
Buy a autoesthetic exercise mug!
Closet multitasking is when you show up for remote meetings pretending to be in attendance but really working on something else.
Bob: Did you hear in the staff meeting that no one can take vacation in February?
Jane: No. Did Fred say that?
Bob: Absolutely. What were you closet multitasking?

The Boss: Jim, How are sales doing?
Me: crickets - no reply
The Boss: WTF, Jim? You closet multitasking?
by jfburke619 January 26, 2021

Mug icon
Buy a closet multitasking mug!