hiemlich schlonge's definitions

Redbank Rimjob

Licking the anus of a person whose hemorrhoids are bleeding.

Robbie had read about how much sexual stimulation that a woman can receive from having her anus licked and could not wait to try it on his 8 month pregnant wife Susan. When he got home from setting up the double-wide out in Swansea he found his wife bent over the bathtub giving little Susie a bath so he dropped to his knees and began to lick her where the sun don't shine. But her hemorrhoids were hanging out and bleeding from driving the big rig all day so it ended up being a Redbank Rimjob.

by hiemlich schlonge February 25, 2010

Rusty Nutcracking Trombone

This is a sexual act in which your partner gives you a rim job and a reach around at the same time Rusty Trombone. However, in this variation your partner removes their false teeth and clamp down on your testicles as hard as possible.

I thought Sharon wanted to make up for all those years of treating me like crap by giving me a Rusty Trombone for my 40th birthday. But she Charlie Browned me by pulling a Rusty Nutcracking Trombone on my already sore balls.

by hiemlich schlonge February 22, 2010

Black Stallion Donkey Punch

This is a variation of the Danny Glover and the Donkey Punch. The man must get his member good and dirty with feces while anally plugging his partner. He must pull out and whip her ass with his shit covered cock. This makes her ass black like a black horse and you have now whipped her like a race horse jockey would. After her buttocks are good and black the man re-inserts his member into anus. When he is close to climax he pulls the ole Donkey Punch by punching her in the back of the head.

Ben knew he was never going to see that fat assed volleyball player again after last night so he wanted to have some shits and giggles so he Black Stallion Donkey Punch her yankee bitch ass.

by hiemlich schlonge February 20, 2010

Popping a Parrot

The act of placing one's limp penis on the shoulder of an unsuspecting friend and saying "Polly wants a Cracker. another term for Mississippi Caterpillar. This can also be considered a clean way to do a Mississippi Mowhawk if the penis is placed up the unsucpecting person's head in the shape of a mohawk. I understand that Jimmy Buffet fans call this a Parrot Head gone wrong.

It was all fun and games until someone posted a video of Ryan Popping a Parrot on all the football players in the locker room before the game.

by hiemlich schlonge February 18, 2010

Gaston Trailer Park

Another name for a Crystal Meth Lab.

Man, I was looking for a Gaston Trailer Park to get my fix, but instead ran into found some really good Doobage.

by hiemlich schlonge February 23, 2010

Gaston Switch-a-rooh

This is an unplanned sexual act. It occurs when a man is about to lick a girls clit but when he gets his head down there the smell gags him and he can't do it. But he likes the girl and doesn't want to embarass her so he quickly jumps up and shoves his penis in here mouth yelling "I forgot, ladies first."

Warren had been planning to eat Samantha all week at the party because he knew a girl as fine as her had to taste sweet but when his head got down there he had to pull a Gaston Switch-a-rooh.

by hiemlich schlonge February 25, 2010

Griffed

To have someone who once held a positition of high regard lie to your face and you believe it.

Adam was listing all the things Michael had done in his life and it was obvious he had been Griffed.

by hiemlich schlonge February 21, 2010