hello world champion's definitions
SPECIES - Redtards are a group of carnivorous homo sapiens in the genus Mullet family. They reside in the southern USA, are highly territorial, prefer open grassland, high fructose corn syrup and have an inverted mathematical relationship between their years of education and the number of offspring they bear.
CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it, da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable science of global warming.
MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five tin cans with standard gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.
MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species, long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it, da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable science of global warming.
MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five tin cans with standard gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.
MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species, long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
Glen Beck is such a redtard! He said that the recent snow in his front yard must be "global cooling" because global warming is a scam.
by hello world champion February 11, 2010
Get the redtard mug.akin to how a pig truffles in the forest for the famously hard to find truffle mushroom, "ass-truffling" is the act of snorfling around in the drawers of your lover looking for dingle berry gifts to sniff and chew.
Your average ass-truffler will make grunting noises followed by squeals of delight when treasures are unearthed.
Your average ass-truffler will make grunting noises followed by squeals of delight when treasures are unearthed.
*ew ew ew* *get away get away get away* help meeee, this guy I brought home from the bar is ass-truffling meeeeeeeeee!!!!
*smacks him unconscious*
*smacks him unconscious*
by hello world champion April 7, 2011
Get the ass-truffling mug.The term for a boozy, salesy, replacement CEO of a successful tech-startup, who marches in and thinks that he has a grand vision for the future insofar as he attaches the word "cloud" to every sentence.
Such an exec is also technically inept and cannot even type or use any modern day interfaces including mice, keyboards, or phones -- in fact, may often refer to the company's key technology as "okiedokie 9000". Srsly.
Disproportionate use of modern terms such as: cloud, sas, vision, how it works in the big leagues, juxtaposed with antiquated terms such as "boof", "let's make squillions of dollars", and "damn yanks" make a cloudcloud a very interesting cloud indeed.
Such an exec is also technically inept and cannot even type or use any modern day interfaces including mice, keyboards, or phones -- in fact, may often refer to the company's key technology as "okiedokie 9000". Srsly.
Disproportionate use of modern terms such as: cloud, sas, vision, how it works in the big leagues, juxtaposed with antiquated terms such as "boof", "let's make squillions of dollars", and "damn yanks" make a cloudcloud a very interesting cloud indeed.
OMG, here comes cloudcloud again to tell us how his big vision is to take our company into the cloud, cloudcloud, sass, tuna cloud and make squillions of dollars. We are going public!!! Woohooo!
by hello world champion April 9, 2011
Get the cloudcloud mug.A combination of sniffing, snorting, and truffling. Often used in regard to various body orifices, particularly ones below the belt.
Can also be done in a bed under the blanket or in the dark with loud grunting sounds.
Can also be done in a bed under the blanket or in the dark with loud grunting sounds.
Zooooomagawd, we came home drunk from the bar, and this guy was like totally snorfling my vadge. I had to smack him unconscious.
by hello world champion April 26, 2011
Get the snorfling mug.OMG so my boo just send me the grossest emotisode of a shart. It was a finger with the OK sign, followed by a fart cloud followed by a poo emoji. Ewwww!
by hello world champion April 25, 2015
Get the emotisode mug.As an abbreviation of "Where the fuck you at?", wtfu@ is one handed, textable, five character mechanism to rhetorically request someone's location whilst actually strongly implying that they should instead be right fucking here because they are God damned late.
We were all supoooooosed to be at the party by 10pm but that tramp Nicole was late again so I snatched my phone and texted her: wtfu@
by hello world champion January 28, 2016
Get the wtfu@ mug.A term reserved for one of those "very special" people whom you consider to be such an immense waste of fucking time that every single remaining breath they take in their pathetic life is an unnecessary debit from the world's remaining oxygen supply.
OMG, so you remember that bimbo Nola? Why would you? Well anyway, so she was at "the" Hollywood party last night... droning on and on about how *this* celebrity was wearing a who the fuck cares dress and how *that* celebrity was now fatter than, yah, nobody cares about that either, bitch. What an oxygen abuser!
by hello world champion May 31, 2016
Get the oxygen abuser mug.