goose_on_a_roof's definitions

Slut Glut Rut

a condition whereby a male celebrity is so burned out from all the fawning attention that he no longer receives any stimulation from a bikini model slipping her room key into his pocket

Bouncer: Johnny, nice set.
Rockstar: Thank’s, man.
Bouncer: By the way, that hottie in the front row wanted me to give you her phone number.
Rockstar: Nah, you keep it. I think I’m stuck in a slut glut rut.

by goose_on_a_roof October 18, 2020

tough crack to nut

an extremely attractive woman that no guy can score with

“Yeah, she’s as hot as a firecracker but you’d better forget it, pal. That’s a tough crack to nut.”

by goose_on_a_roof June 5, 2022

Going Paducah

dying, when someone or something is on it’s last legs, last gasp or exhibiting a death rattle (The word “Paducah” is derived from the sound made when a severed head is drop-kicked into an empty dumpster. pah-DOO-kah)

“C’mon stop smackin’ that old TV. You’re not helping any. It’s going Paducah and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

by goose_on_a_roof October 17, 2020

dilly-doo

an item in which the name or function is unbeknownst to (or has been forgotten by) the person uttering the term

“I twisted the dilly-doo until the thingy lined up with the whosie-whatsit and wouldn’t ya know it. The dingus got all gashnitzed and gashnizzled and the jobby-joo went wizz-bang out the back. Please forgive me if I’m getting too technical for you. It’s just that I’ve been workin’ in the doojigger biz since I was knee-high to a whatchamacallit and I rarely interact with you civilians.”

by goose_on_a_roof October 14, 2020

Chuck Norris of Cheap

one that has mastered the art of wallet fumbling, a stingy person or one that will pinch a penny until POTUS 1-6 is squealing like a little girl

I can be a little tight with a buck. Well, “little” may be somewhat misleading. Ok, ok, I've got my black belt in skinflint. I'm the miser master, the Chuck Norris of Cheap and in my spare time, I like to jam with my band, Penny Pinscher and the Tightwads. Seriously, I play a mean frugal horn.

by goose_on_a_roof October 18, 2020

barnacle

verb

to attach or adhere to something (can be either literal or figurative), like the crustacean of the same name that attaches itself to the hull of a ship

“I walked into one of those high-end stores on Rodeo Drive and I was amazed at how few products were on display. The floorspace was wide open. I guess they need all that open room to house the army of sales associates that stand ready to barnacle their lips to your keister.”

by goose_on_a_roof August 26, 2022

Sleek

When a person is not carrying a weapon.

Even though Elvis was surrounded with bodyguards he would carry numerous pistols at a time, but what about when he was performing? He wore those form-fitting jumpsuits and made such grand stage movements. Was he packin’ or did he go sleek?

by goose_on_a_roof May 15, 2018