resectomy

n. An operation during which something important is removed, but it is not clear, because of infection, scarring or malignant destruction, which organ has been excised.

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You look tired doctor.

Yeah, I was up all night operating.

What operation?

Well... don't really know. Kind of a resectomy. But I think we got it all.

by gnostic3 February 14, 2019

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papal apology

n. Any meandering speech touching on noble intentions, shifting societal norms, the infallibility of the church, and vague regrets, delivered in a clownish war bonnet.

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Do you think the Ukrainian war will end with a papal apology?

I do not care. As long as it ends.

by gnostic3 August 19, 2022

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Jasper

place. Rugged Canadian park full of pointy mountains and deep slot canyons that both provide delightful vistas and chances to lose a limb. Bears, hungry and ornery 24/7, compete with bighorn sheep and rutting elk for handouts from misguided tourists. Avalanches of snow and skiers in winter and rock in summer often flatten the frankly decaying townsite but a thriving gravel-extraction industrial plant working on the mounds of tailings from the failed gold industry and moraines from the failed glacier industry are turning things around. The recent anti-masking truck convoy passing through the park amused many of the smaller marmots and almost made up for the total lack of after-hours entertainment for which the tourists, bone-tired after long treks into the jasperiffic hinterlands, thirst.

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A tourist in Jasper recently smeared honey on her child in a mis-guided attempt to attract bears.

From out of Canada?

They’re awaiting the DNA results. Kind of messy.

by gnostic3 January 29, 2022

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dumpling

n. Small dump. Usually produced by a puppy or an overflowing politician.

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I wll grant you that it is cute. But it is none the less a dumpling. Avoid being sullied by it.

by gnostic3 May 30, 2020

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Redo’s Procedure

n. Complex operation, attempted only by the most skilled surgeons, in which a previously performed delicate procedure is performed again ... indelicately.

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Crickey Mate! I am shagged out. I was up all night getting a didgeridoo out of an Abo’s bum. Again! And now I have to do a bleedin’ Redo’s Procedure with an assistant from Perth who can’t tell an Allis from a pair of Springs.

by gnostic3 March 13, 2024

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