friend of bob's definitions

bad pickup lines

Speech device primarily employed by two factions of mankind: the truly pathetic and amateur comedians. Origins have been disputed, but it is widely thought that pickup lines, once upon a magical time, could win pussy if chanted with remarkable charisma and authenticity. Thanks to the combination of inevitability and human stupidity, pickup lines degraded into verses that invoke either uproarious laughter or further inalienation, but not the throes of sex.

Got a library card? Because I'm checking you out.

I scraped my knees falling for you.

You're like a box of Lucky Charms: you're magically delicious.

Got a gym card? Because you've been giving my mind a workout.

I lost my number. Can I have yours?

You sound tired. Wanna sleep with me?

Hey there. (use Clint Eastwood impression)

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

limit break

An emanation of powerful energy you feel during instances of extreme urgency. Never happens in real life.

That punk bitch was talking sheyat, so I thought I'd limit break his ass. He lost 9999 hit points.

by friend of bob June 13, 2004

friend of bob

Another anonymous individual, as one punk band would put it, "drowning in the pools of other lives". Friend of bob is an utter loser, has few friends, is anti-social, is unattractive, is still a virgin, does not have a driving license (or a car), does not have a job, dropped out of college, has a small penis, wears duct taped shoes, and is 19.

I call myself friend of bob because I once knew this guy named bob who told me what the ninja was. I doubt you'll find my definition of it on this site, however...

by friend of bob May 18, 2004

taking a mean one

Expelling feces in an explosive or painful matter.

Hey boss. Can I take the day off? I have to take a mean one.

by friend of bob June 13, 2004

The Catcher in the Rye

A novel which many people of the world should avoid reading, as they simply would not understand the meaning of the word "phony", a word which is repeated several times throughout the book.

I thought about being a catcher in the rye, but I don't really like people that much so I thought I'd just let them fly off the cliff.

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

Simple Plan

Attention all preps, attention all preps. Humans (a very interesting species of life capable of intellect, unlike the zombie-like preppies)do not like Simple Plan for two reasons: their musical artistry is below average at best and worse, they are popular, indicating the eventual downfall of humanity. You preppies and punk/skater posers need to understand that MTV is taking a giant shit on you and you lick it up like ice cream. Its quite disturbing to see other quasi-life forms indulge themselves in what is essentially raw sewage. But then again, its a bit amusing...

Simple Plan maintains a complex thought process behind their songs: play simple-minded music and simple-minded beings will buy it, i.e. preppies.

by friend of bob May 15, 2004

belligerent

Inebriated. You know, drunk off your ass. Drunk enough to fuck tub girl (while she's in her famous "pose"). Drunk enough to chain smoke an entire pack of cigarettes and then immediately forget that you've even had any. Very, very, very, very, very drunk.

Uh oh. Looks like he's already belligerent.

by friend of bob May 18, 2004