fredo's definitions

piercings

self-mutilation as a fashion statement among nonconforming young people who crave peer acceptance. a practice generally frowned upon by concerned parents who used to gain their own peer acceptance by taking hallucinogenic drugs and plotting to blow up the pentagon.

i'm such a rebel. i'm going to get pierced to show how unique i am

by fredo October 22, 2003

ufo

elusive flying machines thought to be piloted by extraterrestrials and generally confined in their earthly encounters to areas where the National Enquirer is considered a literary magazine.

well ye haw, look at that flying thingamajig in the sky ma!

by fredo October 22, 2003

entertainment industry

vast network of business empires whose role is to divert us as society crumbles, and to accelerate the crumbling so that we require more diversion. comparable to the band that played aboard the titanic, except that in this case they've also supplied the iceberg.

that movies was great, all the bright lights, explosions and action really diverted my attention as the world dies.

by fredo October 22, 2003

obituary

a final summation of our lives that, for most, occupies less than an inch of space in what will shortly become cage liner for the neighbor's parakeet.

Joe Smith (1945 - 2003)
Hard worker, husband and father of two...thats about it, nothing special about this guy.

by fredo October 22, 2003

duck ass

Duck Ass is that obnoxious Meg Ryan-esque hair-do that middle aged suburban women get trying to look edgey and young. There are many variations of it but they all involve a fearthery burst of hair at the base of the skull. It is a close relative of the mullet.

Tina came back from vacation with a salon tan and a duck ass hair-do. Why can't she just swallow her pride and age gracefully?+

by Fredo May 20, 2004

talk show

an opportunity for people to confess to millions of viewers what they would be ashamed to admit to their next-door neighbors.

i'm soo ashamed of cheating on my husband with my brother, i have to confess on the Jerry Springer show!

by fredo October 22, 2003

models

cheekbones that sell cosmetics, hipbones that sell anorexia.

wow, she is in great shape! she's 5'9" and weighs 82lbs!!

by fredo October 22, 2003