fearman's definitions

you are what you eat

Hannibal Lecter's personal motto.

A census taker tried to quantify me once. I promptly demonstrated to him that you are what you eat, Clarice. FFT-FFT-FFT-FFT-FFT-FFT-FFT ...,

by Fearman December 28, 2007

floozie in the jacuzzi

Sculpture of Anna Livia formerly located midway up O'Connell Street, Dublin, Ireland, consisting of a very long, flowing, stylised female figure in a fountain (Anna Livia being a personification of the River Liffey and by association the city of Dublin). Removed to make way for the O'Connell Street Spike, better known as the Stiletto in the Ghetto, in the year 2002.

We all miss the floozie in the jacuzzi.

by Fearman December 10, 2007

Mars

1. Fourth planet from the Sun. Diameter 4,220 miles. Called the Red Planet from its colour as seen through a telescope; colour varies from butterscotch to dark brown. Much of this is from iron oxide (rust) in surface rocks. Surface gravity 38 percent that on Earth, about the same as Mercury, an effect jointly of Mars' larger size and lower density. The least dense of the rocky terrestrial planets in the system. One tenth of Earth's mass. Atmosphere mostly carbon dioxide, surface pressure varies by location and season between about 5 and 7 millibars. Surface features include Mariner Valley, a canyon system that would stretch across the United States on Earth, and four large shield volcanoes on the highland area known as the Tharsis Bulge, the largest of which is Olympus Mons, the largest mountain on any major planet in the system, three times the height of Everest and covering an area about the size of Romania. Has been visited by numerous space probes, including the Viking landers, the Sojourner rover and the Spirit and Opportunity Rovers. Currently being orbited by the Odyssey, Express and Reconnaissance Orbiters, making it the planet with the most artificial satellites beyond Earth. Although the surface is almost certainly sterile, Mars has often been imagined as an abode of life, appearing as such in works by, among others, C.S. Lewis, H.G. Wells and Edgar Rice Burroughs. There is some evidence of liquid surface water in its early history, although the atmosphere has grown too thin to allow this any more. Appears in some ways earthlike, with dust storms (especially at perihelion passage, the closest passage to the sun), growing and shrinking (largely carbon dioxide) ice caps and even, at 24 hours and 40 minutes, the most earthlike length of day of any other planet in this system. Two moons, Phobos and Deimos, both asteroids, circle the planet, the former the lowest-orbiting moon of any major planet in the system and set to run smack into Mars in about another 40 million Earth years.

2. The fourth planet's namesake, the ancient Roman god of war. Bit of a meathead, but then it was his job. Had an affair with Venus ... well, who wouldn't? Greek equivalent was Ares.

3. Chunky nougat-caramel-chocolate bar, or the company that makes them.

In the previous few months, Mars had been getting brighter in the night sky.

Oh Mars, let my armies surround those of my enemy Calipurnius and righteously whup his ass.

Got a Mars Bar?

by Fearman May 10, 2008

Quare on the Square

Dublin rhyming slang ("Quare" from the originally derogatory "queer" for gay, homosexual) for the reclining statue of Oscar Wilde, carved in County Cork from rocks of various colours. The statue is mounted on a boulder at one corner of Archbishop Ryan Park, Merrion Square, Dublin, opposite two metal columns inscribed with quotes from Wilde.

You've just got to come and see the tart with the cart and the quare on the square.

by Fearman February 10, 2008

necro-reiteration

Mental experience in which you come to believe on numerous occasions that someone must have died a while back, often persisting for many years until you hear for certain in the media that they have just actually died.

I had necro-reiteration about Joan Miro and Evel Knievel for at least a decade before they popped their clogs.

by Fearman January 6, 2008

cable hair

One of those hairs often found growing in facial hair that seem to consist of at least ten normal hairs welded together and that you simply can't resist the urge to pull out; fortunately, frequently an easy operation.

Oh, look. Cable hair. (Pinches and pulls.) Oooohh ahhh, that's lovely.

by Fearman August 30, 2007

Abroccolipse

And then the Lamb opened the Seventh Seal: and yeay, I saw upon a white horse all the little children who wouldn't eat their greens, and all the chunky little greens that they had ever refused to eat fell from the firmament upon the earth in a great cascade of green, and the children descended from the back of the great white horse, and there was weeping and gnashing of teeth and quite a bit of chewing until the sounding of the final trumpets.

The above is from the Abroccolipse of St. Elmo the Vegetarian.

by Fearman February 23, 2008